Nice Sex Talk Dirty Words to Hear, But…
Talking dirty has never been Calico’s forte, quite honestly. She has gotten more comfortable with doing it over the years, but she’ll be the first to tell you that there’s not much range or adventurousness to her pillow talk vocabulary. It’s OK though, because like a lot of men, Calico’s husband never listens to her anyway, so she might as well be reading from a phone book while they’re in the sack.
Sometimes, what your partner says during sex might be words that would be most welcome in other contexts, but when combined with sex talk they can be… well, a little awkward.
For instance, once someone starts bringing the “daddy” talk into things, anything else they might say takes on a different vibe — in Calico’s view, a decidedly creepy, not at all arousing vibe, but to each her own, right?
But what if the only time your lover ever says the three little words so many of us want to hear whilst he’s ejaculating? Does he mean it? Does anybody NOT love the person they’re fucking while they’re in the act of cumming? Are there rules here?
Read all about it in Calico’s latest post, “Nice Words to Hear, But…”
– Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com, Award Winning Adult Movies
Some people are blessed (or cursed, depending on one’s perspective, I suppose) with a gift for talking dirty. I am not one of those people. My dirty-talking skills, such as they are, have been honed over years of trial and error – mostly error, I’d have to say.
Honestly, I probably enjoy more hearing about other people’s experiences with sex talk – and the experience of being subjected to strange sex talk, in particular – more than I enjoy talking dirty, or being the one on the receiving end of such pillow talk.
I suppose I should just consider myself lucky that I’ve never found myself in a Charlotte-from-Sex-And-The-City situation, stuck with a guy who can’t get off unless he gets insulting, too.
I Mean, I’ve Heard of Being “Hard as a Dirty Rock” But…
For whatever reason, perhaps a latent interest in geology that I’ve never explored, my favorite example found at the link above is from a woman relating an experience she had in college, when a guy blurted out, mid-coitus, “I’m fucking you like a stone, like a rock. Tell me I’m your favorite rock!”
Now, to be fair, I’ve never been fucked by or with a stone, so maybe I have the wrong idea what that sort of sexual encounter would be like. But my understanding is that stones mostly don’t move under their own power, so as I see it, it’s possible to be fucked with a stone, but fucked by a stone? Not so much.
Who knows; maybe the guy was secretly undermining his partner’s political career and he meant to say “I’m fucking you like Roger Stone,” or maybe he was suggesting that he’s a great ‘director’ in bed and meant to say he was fucking her “like Oliver Stone”? Or maybe he was trying to reference The Rock and just got his terms slightly mixed up? So many possibilities in so few syllables!
Does it Ever Talk Dirty Back?
That’s far from the strangest bit of sex talk you’ll hear people discuss on the internet, of course. Another of my favorite ‘genres’ is the guy-talking-to-his-own-penis brand of sex talk, possibly because I know if I had a penis, I’d probably never stop talking to it, which I’d most likely do in the same voice with which I use to speak to my dearly departed chihuahua mix, Fritz. (“Who’s a good dick? Who’s a good dick? Are you a good dick?” etc.)
One absolute gem of an example of the man-talks-to-own-penis phenomenon comes from a woman identified only as “Kayla H.”, who describes a man using “a baby voice, talking to his penis” and saying: “Ughhhh, why aren’t you working?!”
Hilarious – but assuming his question expressed an immediate and well-founded concern, also a bit of a drag for poor old Kayla H., obviously.
Three Little Words – That I Don’t Want to Hear Connected to “Daddy”
As it turns out, some of the more awkward moments of sex talk don’t involve filthy talk at all. In fact, they involve words which, heard in other contexts and delivered in a different manner, would be cause for celebration.
In a recent letter to Slate’s “How to do It” columnists, a woman calling herself “Too Old to Be This Confused” related a story a couple awkward moments of what might otherwise have been not sex talk, but ‘romantic’ talk.
“The last time we slept together, he said, “Tell daddy you love him” during sex,” Confused writes.
(Just as a quick aside, I must admit the “daddy” thing would have me concerned, straight away. I mean, to each her/his own, but I find that sort of talk more than a bit creepy.)
“I said it, and then he said it back to me,” Confused continues. So far, so good, right? Well…
“Two weeks go by, and we haven’t said it again,” Confused relates. “I wondered if was this just pillow talk. It was never part of the verbiage before. Or was he saying he loved me? We slept together again last night, and he again said, “tell me you love me” and I said it, while he was coming. He did not say it back this time.”
Uh-oh. I’m no pillow talk expert, but that doesn’t sound like progress, to me.
“I’m very confused because right now, I don’t want to do anything to rock the boat.”
(You know, unless maybe the guy utters something like: “Daddy says rock the boat” as he ejaculates.)
Confused then gets more specific about the advice and information she’s seeking: “How common is it to say ‘I love you’ but in the context of the ‘daddy’ thing during sex? And starting 16 months into a relationship?”
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: I’m glad people don’t write ME asking questions like these, because I’d either respond with something entirely inappropriate and unhelpful or spend several hours trying to figure out how to turn up the kind of data Confused seeks.
On that note…. What do you say Google: How common is it?