You decide it’s finally time to pop out to your local high-end sex toy shop and pick up a bagful of kink. You head out to the nearest cleverly named merchant of perversion and holy cow are there a LOT of sex toys on the market! How in the world do you figure out which of these things to buy? Or even what some of them do? Seriously – some of them look like single-use kitchen gadgets from Sur la Table and the rest wouldn’t be out of place in a Buck Rogers reboot. Well, that kind of store always has very knowledgeable employees who will be happy to tell you in exhaustive details about each and every item. “But wait,” you say, “I live deep in the dark wilds of the Okefenokee swamps and don’t have access to a cleverly named sex toy shop!” Well, I didn’t know the Okefenokee had wifi, but I guess I can be your knowledgeable sex toy advisor.
Always Remember the Lube
No matter what you do, no matter what toys you use, no matter what you rub against whatever else or insert into wherever, you’re going to want lube. Lube makes the world go around, or is at least useful in an around-the-world. You can get a good general overview of which lubricants are good for what toys or activities here, but it should be enough to remember that water-based lubes are good for everything if you keep refreshing them with water, that you should stay away from silicon lubes on silicon toys, and you should stay away from oil-based lubes on any toys at all. Even if you’re not using toys, though, you should still have lots of lube around. It’s great for handjobs and penetration, and if you like to watch your partner masturbate, lube will make it a better experience for everyone.
The Fleshlight is the Cadillac of sex toys for men – it’s big, flashy, expensive and comfortable, and anybody who sees one will be jealous. Fleshlights are also like Cadillacs in that they have lots of imitators, some of which are better than the original. Unlike Cadillacs, you can get different porn-star branded ones, so if your man has a yen for a particular screen goddess, you can look into getting him an ersatz vagina shaped like his porn crush. You can also opt for some of the less expensive and less sophisticated imitators. The primary value of a cock sleeve is that it allows you to encase his johnson in a soft, welcoming hole while you’re doing other things that require more mobility than the standard positions – don’t discount the value of owning a toy that can simulate a mouth or a pussy or an ass on his cock while you and he are busy doing other things; maybe he’s tied up and you’re putting on a striptease, or maybe you’re webcamming and he doesn’t want to get lube on his hands for the keyboards sake, but it’s always good to have a sexy substitute.
Cock rings have a bad reputation – enough that some companies are starting to use different names for them to avoid the taint of the idea that they’re for guys who can’t keep a firm erection. They’re good for that, of course, but the truth is a good cock ring is going to do great things for his cock, and both of you will appreciate the aesthetics and functionality. A cock ring added to a firm cock makes it thicker, more sensitive, and adds texture by making the veins stand out; it’s like having a relief carving to play with, and he’ll really love the way it feels when your fingers are exploring those new textures. You can get ones with vibrating bullets, but I don’t really recommend them – for the most part, a vibrator that’s not being applied by an attentive hand is more of a distraction than anything else. When it comes to cock rings, stick to the simple, although there are some that have attached butt plugs (let’s assume that since you’re out shopping with a man-date for sexy toys, your partner is open to experimentation; if he is, a butt-plug/cock ring combo is a must).
Oh, and speaking of things that go in asses; get yourself a good strap on harness. Most of these other toys are going to be for his delight, and the harness contributes to that as well, but for this you need to shop for yourself. First off, make sure you pick one that you like the look of. You’re going to want to feel sexy here, and liking the way you look while sporting a hardon is important. Make sure you get one that fits you comfortably, because you’re not going to want to be distracted from the things you do while wearing a strap on harness. You’re not going to want to be pinched by inconvenient straps, scraped by cheap materials, or stymied by having to hold your cock in place because of an ill-fitting harness. Make sure you get one that sits right, puts your chosen dildo at the correct angle – not halfway up to your belly button – and holds it firmly in place. No matter how much of an open mind your target has, you’re going to want to be fully in control of anything you plan to stick inside him.
And speaking of things you plan to stick inside him, you’re going to want to pick up some dildos. This is an area with a wonderfully rich range of choices for you and him. The varied sizes and girths, colors and shapes that are available to you might end up being paralyzing, so make sure you involve him in the shopping process. From dicks for beginners through a range of pretty normal cocks to the absolutely monstrous weapons that only the very experienced should be allowed even to see, let alone use, there’s a dick for everyone. I recommend a variety – nature hasn’t blessed you with one of your own, but technology has given you the gift of choice; start small and work your way up, wear a perfect replica of a human cock, a fantasy dragon’s prong, or a stylized phallus with a prostate-massaging curve that will send him skyrocketing.
Speaking of skyrocketing, you know your Magic Wand – the one your girlfriend turned you on to, the one that makes the house sound like maybe there’s a helicopter circling the bedroom? Well, don’t think you’re the only one who’s going to appreciate its power. You already know what it can do, so you’re uniquely qualified to apply it to him – you know what he likes and how he likes, it – and you might find some new surprises for him along the way. The Magic Wand is a very powerful machine, though, and it’s possible that he might be overwhelmed by its vigor, so if you want vibration, you can check out some of its more delicate iterations – you don’t want to numb the poor fellow.
For a deeper look into the world of sex toys for men (and of course, for women too) be sure to check out ManShop, there’s another level of sex toy fun for couples just waiting to be found.