Let’s get real about vaginas

by Lola Lovely at Badoink.com

My current new favourite thing on the internet is Garfunkel and Oates, a quirky, comedic duo expressing themselves through song. Traditionally these song singing comedy acts are usually men (think Flight of the Conchords and The Mighty Boosh) but Garfunkel and Oates, consisting of Kate Micucci and Riki Lindhome are two very funny, talented women. This makes me so happy. Especially when I heard their song The College Try – a song about a college bisexual experience. Honestly I was laughing so hard I peed a little. Check it out:

Read on…

The thing is, I totally relate to this whole song. There is a whole lot of vagina-love happening in the world, because we totally need it. And why do we need it? Because most women react this way the first time they see a vagina. Let’s be honest here, a vagina is like a newborn baby – goey, hairy, wet, squishy, covered in slime and totally ugly. There is no newborn baby in the world that comes out looking like the cute, cuddly, adorable baby that it turns into.

This isn’t about vagina hating. I love my vagina. Wouldn’t trade it for the world. But just like wine, it’s a thing I learned to appreciate. Especially since I don’t spend a lot of time looking at real women vaginas (and no, porn vaginas don’t count!). The first time I slept with a woman I got lucky, she was hairless, neat, smooth and everything I thought a vagina would look like (even though mine looked nothing like that!). The second time I was like, “OMFG!! WTF! WHAAT?!” (Internally of course, because – self control ahem).

Since then, I’ve gotten used to them. That doesn’t mean I still don’t cringe every once in a while, not out of judgement of that woman, but because I am still not that evolved. I know to appreciate them, and love my own – whatever shape, color, size and flap and crinkle width – but sometimes I just get caught off guard. I know that a woman’s anatomy is sacred, just like it says in the song:

“The female anatomy’s divine and perfect

And should be eternally celebrated

And revered for it’s role as beautiful vessel

Wherein all life is created”

It used to be that women were just made to feel crap about having vaginas. Now we know that it’s perfectly normal to have one, and no it isn’t a freak of nature, and yes it is beautiful. Because at the end of the day, some vaginas might be flappier than others, some might be smoother and yes, they’re all in a way kinda ugly (hah!) but they’re also beautiful, and deep and intricate and they have layers and character – just like a woman.