By Alexandra Walker at The Sex.com Blog.
Is there anything more counter-intuitive to the basic male psyche than the idea of being cuckolded?
To be cuckolded has historically been a major symbol of male shame. Your wife or girlfriend is cheating on you with another man after all.
Yet porn scenes depicting squeamish, ‘inadequate’ men deriving voyeuristic pleasure from watching their partner getting banged in a hotel room by a classically superior male are continuing to get churned out. Cuckolding. This guy you’re watching satisfy your wife, presumably for the first time in ages, is much better looking than you, he’s in better shape, he makes more money than you, your wife is finally happy for once, and oh, did we mention that his dick is about twice the size of yours?
Possessiveness over one’s partner is a hallmark of male bravado and ego: you’ve managed as a real man’s man to find a partner (the most attractive and sexually fertile partner you could find), and she’s ALL yours. In the past, being cheated on by this partner has elicited a reaction of anger, of fear and of insecurity in men. The norm: men are allowed to explore their sexuality outside of monogamy with mistresses and lovers, but women are expected to be the rock, to stay confined in the boundaries of the relationship.
But then, how does one explain the extensive (and increasing) popularity of cuckolding porn?
According to Justin Lehmiller in his article for Playboy, “…internet search trends reveal that interest in cuckold porn has surged in the last decade…the internet has been instrumental in providing pornographic validation and a sexual outlet for men with cuckold fantasies; it also enables couples to easily recruit no-strings-attached third wheels to explore these fantasies in real life.”
The concept of a happy monogamous marriage is hanging by a tiny, frayed thread. Divorces are all an all time high. I believe cuckold porn allows men to marginalize all of the problems in their relationship into a compact little fantasy that they can masturbate to and then delete from their family desktop histories.
“Well…if I could just fuck my wife right, then everything would be great, but since I can, maybe I could get someone like Lex Steele to do it for me…”
If you can identify your problems and relate them to something as seemingly harmless as an erotic fantasy that you can cum to, maybe your problem isn’t as bad as you thought, and maybe your fears and self-consciousness aren’t as rooted in reality as you first imagined.
Or perhaps there’s something to the concept that cuckold porn has surged in popularity parallel to social media become central to our day-to-day lives. Services like Facebook might break down the feelings of resentment, jealousy and paranoia that stem from the unseen and imagined ‘other man.’
“Oh, you work with a guy named Mitch, well then you’re probably fucking him, right? “
Being able to visually see other men in your partner’s life helps men identify others as a non-threat (oh, that guy’s not even that hot and he’s married…) thus allowing space for fantasies such as cuckolding to grow and breath.
Another popular theory amongst scientists, according to the Playboy article, involves a little something called ‘sperm competition.’ Basically, the more threatened you feel by another man impregnating your mate, the ‘deeper and faster’ you thrust during sex, and the more active sperm your ejaculate contains when you cum. So maybe watching cuckold porn is a sub-conscious way of your body telling you “hey, I better try to get my girlfriend pregnant or someone with better, stronger sperm might.”
Maybe the increase in cuckold porn’s popularity is totally harmless, or maybe it speaks to some deep-rooted insecurity in men about their sexual roles, or maybe it speaks to sweeping changes in society and sexual norms. It’s hard to say, but all I know is, dudes love watching their wives get boned.
Alexandra Walker is a writer and blogger at Sex.com. She is an extremely, extremely underrated lover and more beautiful than most people give her credit for. When she’s not watching reality TV shows or scouring the absolute depths of online dating sites, she’s finding time in her “busy” schedule to write articles, erotic fiction and short stories.
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