By Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Porn For Women
Most lifelong pet owners have a story or two about cute misbehavior they’ve seen from their pets over the years. You know, like the time your overly-excited puppy pissed on your fastidious friend’s expensive new shoes when greeting her at the front door, or that time your cat scratched your mother-in-law, unwittingly living out one of your most closely-guarded personal fantasies.
We pet lovers also tend to have some not-so-cute stories about our furry friends, of course, like the time your dog ate rocks and you had spend $3000 on surgery, only to have the dog eat rocks again a few weeks later.
Accordingly, I’m hesitant to laugh too hard at the story of Momo, the Taiwanese Samoyed puppy who ate his human’s porn collection, leading to instant internet fame for the mischievous pooch.
“Shit; I Actually Need That Thing…”
The good news for Momo is that his human, Chung Yu-tse, appears to prioritize his dog’s wellbeing over his various destroyed possessions.
“Momo is very naughty,” Chung said. “Fortunately eating all that plastic didn’t harm his body.”
This is a very nice and charitable sentiment, but sooner or later, Momo is going to eat something which either makes him terribly ill, or which is more valuable to Chung and/or harder to replace than a porn collection.
Just looking over the photos of other carnage caused by Momo, I see a few items which would earn Momo a long timeout if he lived in my house, including a wooden dresser, a hairdryer and a laptop.
Granted, if I backed up my hard drive as often as I’m supposed to (or at all, for that matter), losing a laptop to a puppy’s destructive frenzy wouldn’t be the biggest deal in the world – except I might hate shopping even more than I’d hate not having a laptop, so such an act might ruin several days of my life before I finally got around to rectifying the problem.
Why Does Momo Hate Hair Dryers And Motorcycle Helmets?
While it’s amusing to imagine Momo targeting Chung’s porn collection out of a strong sense of moral indignation, it’s hard to square this notion with the other objects of Momo’s canine wrath.
I happen to like (some) porn, but it’s not hard for me to understand why some of Momo’s newly minted internet fans don’t approve of it. But if we accept moral offense as the inspiration behind Momo’s assault on Chung’s porn collection, do we also assume Momo has some ethical objection to hair dryers and motorcycle helmets?
Maybe Momo suffers from separation anxiety, or simply from a lack of exercise and mental stimulation, all of which are causes of excessive chewing cited by the ASPCA. Of course, the ASPCA doesn’t even mention righteous indignation over porn collections as a potential cause of chewing, so maybe they aren’t the end-all, be-all experts on this subject.
Checking with another source, it seems like Momo has only chewed to bits one thing which is cause for real concern.
“Dogs are diagnosed with destructive tendencies when they destroy things we don’t want them to, such as furniture, shoes, doors, or carpets,” notes PetMD.
I don’t see laptops, motorcycle helmets or porn on that list, so maybe Momo is a special case, after all.
Discouraging Momo’s Destruction: Try Another Porn Genre
According to DogTime.com (which must be a reputable source because it didn’t crash my browser or spring a popup claiming a Windows technician needs immediate access to my computer to remove a virus), one way to keep dogs from chewing on your stuff is to use “bad-tasting repellants and spray.”
“For example, spray items with Bitter Apple spray or Boundary dog repellant, or use a Scat Mat at the edge of a countertop, to stop counter surfers,” the site advises. “This type of training operates on the same principle as a child touching a hot stove – if something is particularly unpleasant, most likely the child or the dog will make the decision not to repeat that behavior.”
This sounds good, but if I were Chung, I’d be a little hesitant to spray down my modem, router and other computer hardware with Bitter Apple.
Instead, Chung, I recommend trying a porn genre which Momo finds less objectionable. Who knows, you might even broaden your own porn-horizons in the process!
Calico’s work has appeared under various pen names in adult industry trade journals and on several mainstream op-ed portals, including the Huffington Post.