Ian Somerhalder – Am I My Brother’s K̶e̶e̶p̶e̶r̶ Peeper?

In reading and writing about sex for a living, Calico has learned a great many interesting, important and useful things. At the same time, she has also learned a great deal she DIDN’T want to know, including many details concerning the sex lives of celebrities she now wishes she could forget.

Most of these things fall into the categories of “kinda gross” or “vaguely disconcerting.” What she learned this week about Ian Somerhalder’s sexual education, however, belongs in a category of its own: “That’s Pretty Creepy, Ian.”

No, Somerhalder hasn’t revealed he has a thing for wearing diapers, or some kind of wrapping-his-penis-in-Swiss-cheese fetish. In fact, this revelation isn’t about any specific sexual behavior or sex act on Ian’s part, at all. It’s about the nature of his sex education when Ian was growing up — an education which turns out to have involved a lot of lurking in the bushes outside a certain family member’s window.

You too can be grossed out by this revelation from Ian Somerhalder, thanks to Calico’s new post, “Am I My Brother’s K̶e̶e̶p̶e̶r̶ Peeper?”

by Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Erotic Indie Films For Women and Couples

Reading and writing about sex may be a big part of how I earn my living, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I wanted to know all the things I have learned over the years in doing such reading and writing.

For instance, my life wouldn’t be any worse if I had never found out that while Brooks Laich likes sucking Julianne Hough’s toes, Julianne just isn’t that into it. I’m also pretty sure I could have gone to my grave without learning what kind of lube is favored by Dean McDermott and Tori Spelling – and I sure didn’t need the Wilt Chamberlin-like (if Chamberlin had favored men, that is) image in my head of The Lost Boys director Joel Schumacher hooking up with 10 to 20 thousand sexual partners in his lifetime.

None of those morsels of unwanted knowledge come close to my latest tidbit involuntary learning, however…

Are We Certain Andy Told Ian Somerhalder the Mic Was On?

Prior to reading this article from Cosmo, the only thing I knew about Ian Somerhalder was that he looked a little like a St. Elmo’s Fire-era Rob Lowe (and speaking of Joel Schumacher, he directed that flick, too). Now I know something else about Somerhalder, thanks to his recent appearance on Radio Andy and Cosmo’s coverage thereof: He learned about sex by spying on his older brother while said older brother was having sex.

“My brother was seven years older than me, so he taught me a lot,” Somerhalder said, which could be read to mean they had a lot of heart-to-heart brotherly conversations – until you get to the next sentence.

“He was quite a Cassanova,” Somerhalder continued, “and he used to have girls in his bedroom all the time. And what I did was, I went in the bottom corner of his window, and I pinched the Venetian blinds down, so I had a clear view, and then when he’d have girls over I would run outside and I would watch. And I learned a lot.”

In a word… YUCK.

You Know, There IS Such a Thing as “Oversharing,” Ian

Somerhalder’s confession is the kind of detail it’s fine to talk about with your older brother, or with good friends – in the context of reminiscing about the dumb and weird stuff you did as kids, perhaps. But when you go public with that shit, you’re courting a response which is… less that positive, let’s just say.

As Cosmo reported, some who commented on Ian’s anecdote of his childhood as a Peeping Tom responded by terming it “gross” and “disgusting.” And one listener nailed my reaction perfectly: “I’m learning a lot about Ian Somerhalder’s sex life that I really don’t care to be knowing.”

To be fair to Ian, celebrities – physically attractive celebrities, in particular – get asked a LOT of questions about their sex lives, so they probably run out of ‘normal’ shit to say relatively quickly. Still, if I were being asked to dish on my sexual education and I’d spied on anybody as part of that education, let alone my own brother, I like to think I’d have the public relations instincts to keep that fact to myself.