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Next Time, Try A Power Point Presentation For Sex Advice

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Everyone knows how important communication is to establishing and maintaining a good sex life — but some communications methods are more successful than others. Grunting and gesticulating may be all humans had to rely on for communicating once upon a time, but these days we’re almost spoiled for choice. With all the modern communication techniques, technologies and platforms available to people, how are they to choose which to use when they’re not face-to-face?

One unnamed husband may have chosen poorly in his approach to letting his wife know he thinks she too often rejects his sexual advances. Where some men would have opted for an after-dinner conversation, or a heart-to-heart during a long walk in the park, he decided it would be a good idea to track her reasons for not having sex in an Excel spreadsheet, which he then emailed to her as she was on her way out of town for 10-day business trip.

In Calico’s view, sending his wife the Excel spreadsheet was a poor choice — and one which showed a real lack of creativity on his part. What should he have done, instead? Read about other options in Calico’s latest post, “Next Time, Try A Power Point Presentation.”

by Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Porn For Women and Couples

Ask just about anyone who counsels couples, writes sex advice columns, or is just an irritating know-it-all who won’t shut up and they’ll tell you the key to a happy sex life is communication. Or maybe they’ll tell you that the key to better sex is communication, or maybe they’ll try to get all clever and tell you “the bedrock to make your bed rock” is communication.

The point is, all the sexperts agree: Communication is fundamental to having a satisfying sex life – and to rocking beds, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Not all ways of communicating with your partner about sex are created equal, of course, and what works for one couple won’t always work for another. Some people prefer frank, honest conversation between sexual encounters. Others prefer communicating during sex, guiding each other with feedback about what they do or don’t like.

And then there’s the guy who sent his wife an Excel spreadsheet in which he’d cataloged her various reasons for not wanting to have sex.

Give Me a Bar Graph, at Least

While communicating about sex sounds simple enough, obviously it’s something with which a lot of people struggle. Some people say that ‘men are from Mars, women are from Venus,’ but I think it’s substantially more complicated than that.

Still, if a guy wants to make the point to me that he’d like to have sex more often, sending me a spreadsheet with a list reasons I’ve recently given for not wanting to have sex is not a good start – especially if he’s just going to be lazy and list things in columns with no visual impact at all.

I mean, c’mon man – give me a chart to look at, or a bar graph comparing the number times I said I was too tired vs. too busy, or anything other than some dull column of text.

This Isn’t an Accounting Class: Demonstrate Some Damn Artistry!

Honestly though, if you want to make an impression with your partner, the whole decision to communicate with Excel is suspect, at best. It’s all well and good to keep track of the “not tonight honey” list using a spreadsheet, but for God’s sake export that data into a more aesthetically pleasing package before putting it into play.

Even without straying from the Microsoft family of products, you can do so much better than Excel. How about a Power Point presentation with some animated slides, for instance? Just imagine how much better “I have to get up early tomorrow” sex encounter put-off would look if it were accompanied by a little smiling sun that rose across the page, for instance.

One thing though, guys: Don’t overdo it with the “dissolve” transition between slides on your Power Point presentation. Those dissolves can be a little reminiscent of little pools of sweat, which will only remind her how weary she is of your bullshit.

Show Her You Really Care: Say it with Instagram

The more I think about it, presenting your partner with a list like the one this anonymous fellow sent to his wife is something which should come in a package that demonstrates a guy’s willingness to work to improve the couple’s shared sex life. What better way to do that than to make your sex-put-off list into an attractive, feature-laden interactive website?

Hell, if you play your cards right, instead of your put-off list going viral via reddit, you might even win a Wix Stunning Award!

Hell, if she was thrilled enough about receiving an emailed spreadsheet to start a reddit thread about it, just think of how happy she’d be to see her privately uttered words immortalized in fancy animated fonts, or a lush, gorgeous cinemagraph.

You see, guys? Like using sex toys to spice up your sex life, or copious alcoholic beverages to survive Christmas dinner with your in-laws, there are countless ways to piss off your wife that are far more creative than simply emailing her a spreadsheet.

How will it improve your sex life, you ask? Hmmm…. OK, I’ll admit, you’ve got me there.

I will say this, though: If you play your cards just right, this sort of thing may render the sexual communication question moot… You’ll know that has happened if she emails back a spreadsheet entitled something like “community property division proposal.”

Calico Rudasil
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Calico Rudasil

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original porn site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.
Calico’s work has appeared under various pen names in adult industry trade journals and on several mainstream op-ed portals, including the Huffington Post.
Calico Rudasil
Follow Me
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Calico Rudasil

Written by Calico Rudasil

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original porn site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.
Calico’s work has appeared under various pen names in adult industry trade journals and on several mainstream op-ed portals, including the Huffington Post.

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