This Just In: More Than a Few of Our Soldiers are Total Pervs

This Just In: More Than a Few of Our Soldiers are Total Pervs

Of all the many anti-porn efforts Calico has witnessed over the years, probably the one which made the least sense was an effort to ban the sale of pornographic magazines on U.S. military bases and in post-exchange stores. Setting aside how anyone outside or inside the military might feel about porn, what was the point in banning magazine sales in the internet age? Do the people who pushed the ban really think America’s soldiers stopped watching porn because they could no longer buy Maxim at the PX?

More recently, a minor controversy that played out on Twitter has Calico thinking about the military and porn again. More to the point, she’s been mulling over how much her friends and family in the military like thinking, talking about and watching sex acts. Are we seriously trying to protect the ‘innocence’ and ‘decency’ of people who routinely joke around in ways that would make a frat boy blush?

On the bright side, one adult performer on OnlyFans is now reaping the benefits of soldiers’ interest in porn — and their commanding officers’ moves to hush up discussion of the same, by claiming their base’s official Twitter account was hacked by someone who interacted with her.

Read all about it in Calico’s new post: “Fact: There’s More than a Few Porn Fans in the U.S. Military”

– Calico Rudasill,

soldiers banned from porn

Read On…

Given my passing use of it in this post, I should begin by stressing that, for the most part, I use the word “perv” simply to mean someone who thinks and/or talks about sex a lot – not to suggest I think there’s something truly aberrant about their behavior, sexual preferences, or social media ‘likes.’ 

And on the rare occasion when I use “perv” to mean something bad – like a person with sexual predilections that are patently illegal, for example – I will make it very clear that I mean something bad, by rending it in italics, ALL CAPS, boldface or by calling out a specific perv’s name, ala “that depraved perv, Gingrich.”

With that confusing, probably unnecessary preamble out of the way, I want to write about pervs in the United States military – a population that has, at times, undoubtedly included more than a few of my male relatives (and, I hope, a few female ones, too).

The Definition of Futility: Banning Maxim in the Age of Pornhub

Not so long ago, there was a big push led by Morality in Media (which has since rebranded as the “National Center on Sexual Exploitation”) to ban the sales of pornographic magazines on military bases and in in military post exchange stores. Whatever you may think of that policy/idea, based on what people within the military wrote about it at the time and what my relatives who serve have said to me, I’d say it wasn’t a particularly popular notion among the rank and file.

In my experience, the military disposition toward pornography is less in line with how the Morality in Media types would like soldiers to think about porn and more in line with this scene from the (truly excellent) HBO miniseries Generation Kill

For context on the clip, it’s a scene in which a handful of marines are introduced to a reporter who will be embedding with their unit during the invasion of Iraq. Told he’s with Rolling Stone, they’re dismayed – until the reporter says “It could be worse; I used to write for Hustler” at which point he begins to receive a royal welcome.

I’m not saying everyone in the military loves porn, of course… but I am saying a whole lot of them do.

Ah, the Cry of the Twitter-Damned: “We Were Hacked!”

The reason all this stuff involving the military, porn and the ban on the sale of porn on military bases has come flooding back to me this week is that I just read up on the saga of OnlyFans creator Quinn Finite and the official Twitter account of Fort Bragg.

As Business Insider puts it: “The elite Army base’s Twitter account commented on her pubic hair and reacted to one of her nude images by suggesting that Finite and the Twitter account should engage in sexual acts.”

Beyond generating a flood of snarky comments and retweets, the Fort Bragg account also (predictably) generated a shocked denial of responsibility from representatives of the base.

“As many of you may know, there were a string of explicit Tweets from our account this afternoon,” a representative for Fort Bragg said in a statement. “This was not the work of our admins. Our account was hacked. We apologize to our followers.”

Oh, the account was hacked, eh? Riiiight. If by “hacked” they mean the guy who minds that account forgot to log out of the official account and into his personal account before engaging Quinn, I could buy that. But a straight up takeover of the account? I call bullshit.

Hey Quinn, Can We Get a POV Promoting PUA?

The significant silver lining to all this is that however embarrassing it might have been for the Fort Bragg brass, the exchange going viral has turned into a major windfall for Quinn Finite.

“Before the Fort Bragg tweets, she was earning about $7,000 a month,” Business Insider reports. “Now, Quinn says, she’s on track to $35,000 a month with about 4,000 subscribers.”

Impressive! On an related note, I don’t suppose we could get the official Fort Bragg twitter account to engage with Mitch McConnell and Nancy Pelosi and tweet some sweet nothings in their ears about how hot it would be to authorize a bit more COVID stimulus money?

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