Katie Couric Questions Aren’t “Weird,” Just Nosey
– Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com
I can’t count how many times something like the following has happened to me. A friend says: “Hey, Calico, can I ask you a strange question?” I respond, “Sure, what would you like to know.”
My friend then asks me something like “Have you ever had a guy ask you to be part of a three-way with another woman?”
Here’s the thing; that’s not a “strange question,” it’s a perfectly normal one – especially considering how commonplace it is for men to broach the topic of three-ways with their girlfriends, wives, waitresses, fellow passengers on public transportation, etc.
A strange question would be something like “Have you ever eaten a bar of lavender soap, then downed a cup of chamomile tea, in the hopes of making your subsequent belches smell better?” or “How many times have you been abducted by aliens, only to have them ask you for investment advice instead of probing your rectum with high-tech instruments?”
Along those same lines, I was a bit disappointed by a recent video Katie Couric made on behalf of InStyle, which Couric prefaces by explaining she’s made a career out of asking questions, and in the video, she intends to ask some “really weird” ones.
Not That It’s Any Of Your Business, But I Don’t HAVE An Underwear Drawer
Among the questions Couric apparently thinks to be quite strange are several which are only weird because she’s asking them to people who have already indicated they don’t speak much English.
“Do you manscape?” Couric asks a man holding a tablet and wearing a bemused look which speaks much louder than he does. To me, what the look expresses is a question of his own: “Is this woman part of airport security, or can I just walk the fuck away right now without being detained for a cavity search?”
“When’s the last time you had sex?” Couric asks another passerby.
“Uh, a couple days ago,” the man responds, looking a little like he thinks the former CBS Evening News anchor might be propositioning him, right there in the airport. “So, I’m good.”
“What’s the weirdest thing in your underwear drawer?” Couric asks a couple different women, one of whom confesses to having a pair of falsies which have lost their adhesive.
This is the first question Couric asks in the video which would have stumped me at all, by the way, because I don’t have an underwear drawer. I have an underwear box, which sits atop my dresser for quick access whenever needed.
To be clear, I have plenty of drawers in which I could put underwear, maybe even a few which are intended to serve as underwear drawers, but those are all occupied with holding more important items, like take out menus from local eateries, random slips of paper with phone numbers scribbled on them and Target receipts from 2009.
As the video goes on, it becomes increasingly clear: Couric doesn’t have any strange questions for these people, just nosey ones.
Turning The Tables On The Inquisitor
Naturally, the question asked by Couric which got all the headline-writers excited was this one: “Do you watch porn?”
Casting serious doubts on the veracity of this whole man-in-the-airport style interview video, the only interview subject to respond (on camera, at least) to the question is a guy who says he used to watch porn, but doesn’t anymore. He gets cut off before he can explain why he stopped, which probably would have been the more interesting portion of his response.
Aside from the former porn consumer, the only other person to answer it is Katie herself, who has the tables turned on her by a woman to whom she poses the porn question.
“No, not really,” Couric answers. “I sometimes have signed up for it in a hotel, but I only watch 30-seconds and I’m like ‘this is so gross’ and then I turn it off and then I lose $9.99.”
Well, there you have it: People often ask, “In the age of the internet, who still pays for porn?” Who would have thought the answer is Katie Couric – albeit only occasionally, and strictly at hotels.
Oh Katie, you may be a terrific journalist, but you’re a lousy porn consumer.
By now, everybody should know hotels not only overcharge for porn (if they still offer it at all, that is), but censor the movies horribly, as well – thereby often rendering a movie only a certain kind of pervert would want to see into movie nobody wants to see.
I sense an opportunity here, and if I know the porn industry like I think I know the porn industry, it’s an opportunity someone is going to very publicly step up and grab: Katie Couric is about to receive a whole lot of open letters from porn sites offering her free passwords – or maybe even (dare I say it?) a job.
Calico’s work has appeared under various pen names in adult industry trade journals and on several mainstream op-ed portals, including the Huffington Post.
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