Good News: You Can Now Safely Read My Posts Out Loud in Virginia!

Good News: You Can Now Safely Read My Posts Out Loud in Virginia!

In an age where frustrating, aggravating and rage-inducing news items fill the headlines, the last thing Americans need is to be worried about watching their tongue in public — which is why Calico is celebrating on behalf of one American state today in a big fucking way.

As part of a larger recent bit of statutory housecleaning, Virginia has repealed its prohibition against “profane swearing in public,” something that will come as a great relief to the state sometimes referred to as the “Mother of Presidents” — and which can now be referred to as the “Motherfucker of Presidents” if you’d like!

As Calico notes though, it’s not all good news when it comes to this change in law, because this law potentially represented a quick way to raise revenue in times of dire need.

Always the balanced (if not entirely fair) observer, Calico gives you both sides of the fucking issue in her latest post, “Good News: You Can Now Safely Read My Posts Out Loud in Virginia.”

by Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com, Adult Entertainment for Women and Couples

Truth be told, even though my posts often center on the act of fucking, I don’t curse in my posts that goddam much. But today I’m sure as shit going to make an exception, because I’m feeling celebratory as fuck.

What am I celebrating? I’m celebrating the signing into law of Virginia’s HB 1071, an amendment to state law which “removes the crime of profane swearing in public” in the state – an offense which hitherto had been classified as a class four misdemeanor there, punishable by a fine of up to $250.

You Can Now Swear Like A Sailor, Just Don’t Drink Like One

Lest you think the repeal of the crime of profane swearing in public signals a general descent into full-blown moral decay in Old Dominion, rest assured the statute amended by HB 1071 isn’t gone, but merely changed.

Now, instead of prohibiting people from cursing like a sailor in public, it will merely restrict being as drunk as one, instead.

The amended law (which is § 18.2-388 of the Code of Virginia, for all you law nerds out there) now reads: “If any person is intoxicated in public, whether such intoxication results from alcohol, narcotic drug. or other intoxicant or drug of whatever nature, he is guilty of a Class 4 misdemeanor. In any area in which there is located a court-approved detoxification center, a law-enforcement officer may authorize the transportation, by police or otherwise, of public inebriates to such detoxification center in lieu of arrest; however, no person shall be involuntarily detained in such center.”

By the way, as much as I’d like to believe otherwise, I don’t think the fact the statute uses “he” in describing prospective perpetrators indicates that women and/or trans folk are exempted from the new version of the statute.

Will this Change Deny Virginia Badly Needed Revenue?

While I’m sure some opponents of this statutory change will decry it as a surrender in the War Against Potty Mouth, my concern is less lofty and more practical. Assuming Virginia was still enforcing the prohibition against profane swearing, could this fucking change mean less money in the state’s god damn coffers?

As any dedicated viewer the Simpsons can tell you, swear jar deposits can add up quickly. What if the state finds itself in a sudden revenue shortfall? Not being able to fine foul-mouthed Virginians could wind up denying the government a potent tool in its efforts to raise funds.

Look at it this way: Virginia’s population is roughly 8.5 million. If the state were able to fine just 5% of its residents under the old law in one year, it could raise $106,250,000!

Granted, doubtlessly there are costs to enforcing the anti-cursing ordinance as well, so the net gain to the government would be substantially less than the full $106.25 million, but I believe the state could have used technology to help reduce those costs. Just deploy Alexa, Google Home and other smart speaker technologies around college football stadiums, bars and city council chambers and then watch the money roll in!

A Boon for Political Speech in Trying Times

Arguably the best part of the repeal of Virginia’s profane swearing prohibition is the way it will free people in the state to express themselves honestly and forthrightly to all sorts of input, including the universally aggravating politics of our modern times.

Just think, liberal readers are now free to respond to Cal Thomas’ contributions to The Virginian-Pilot as “more bullshit spewing from this Fox News contributor asshat,” while conservatives can openly lament the dominance of the “motherfucking fake news, failing Jeff fucking Bezos Washington Post” in the state’s northern regions.

Most importantly, at a time when so much divides us and there appears to agreement on almost nothing when it comes to politics, or even basic facts, the people of Virginia can now at least be bound by their response to the world, raise their heads in unified fashion and proclaim: “Fuck this shit, I need a drink!” 

Granted, Virginians still will have to stop before having too many of those drinks, or else risk being dragged to the drunk tank, but sometimes you just have to take a little fucking progress over none at all.

More Adult Entertainment Legal In Virginia at Sssh.com – Click Here!