The Five Best, Weirdest and/or Dumbest Sex Stories of 2019
As 2019 wraps up, Calico looks back on the previous 12 months and selects a handful of the oddest, silliest, grossest, stupidest sex-related stories that have come across her radar during the year.
From sex robots and hacker-compromised “smart” sex toys to people getting sued for throwing out their son’s porn collections, Calico had a lot to choose from in 2019, so whittling it down to just five choices was no easy task.
Who and what made the list? To find out, read Calico’s 2019-closing post, “The Five Best, Weirdest and/or Dumbest Sex Stories of 2019″
by Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Erotic Entertainment for Women and Couples
It’s that time of year again – the time when lazy short-term nostalgic bloggers like me look back at the previous 12 months and pick out a handful of articles and posts that represent the biggest, best, or worst, or dumbest, or the something-else-ist stories of the year.
Never one to miss an opportunity to sift through a pile of odd, great or truly stupid subjects, I’ve assembled my own list of the (x) best, worst, weirdest and/or dumbest sex-related stories from 2019 for your perusal. Bear in mind as you read them that this list is 100% subjective – so you’re bound to think of several that you believe should be on this list but aren’t. If that makes you angry… hell, I dunno, maybe write your own goddam lazy end of the year post on the subject, or something.
Funding the Border Wall… With a Tax on Internet Porn?
Back in January 2019, Arizona State Rep. Gail Griffin floated the idea of requiring that any device that offers internet access to include software which would block porn (and other ‘objectionable’ material), then charging consumers $20 to turn off the content filtering software if they want the same sort of unfettered access to the web they previously enjoyed.
Thankfully, the idea was mocked into submission and Griffin quickly withdrew her bill before it could be debated, let alone voted on.
On top of this idea being mind-numbingly dumb, it might have caused an international incident had it been allowed to become law. After all, it’s my understanding that Mexico is absolutely determined to pay for the border wall.
The Best Little Robotic Whorehouse in Texas Toronto (That Never Happened)
I’m not sure whether this next 2019 story is weird, or sad, or some combination of the two. On the one hand, the idea of a robotic sex doll brothel is certainly a bit strange – but the fact it never happened is kinda sad, at least from the perspective of someone who likes the world being a little strange.
Unsurprisingly, I suppose, some of the residents in the area where the brothel would have opened objected on moral and ethical grounds, saying that it “literally objectifies women,” among other things. No word on how those same residents feel about the fact that the same plaza which would have housed the brothel already hosts a pot dispensary and (wink-wink, nudge-nudge, say no more) ‘massage parlor.’
Maybe They Should Open a Sex Doll Brothel in Malaysia…
Say what you will about men who have sex with creepily almost-realistic looking dolls – chances are they don’t get their cocks stuck in said dolls, then need to all out the fire department for help in extracting their junk from their inanimate lovers.
There’s a certain teenager in Johor who probably wishes he’d waited for sex doll brothels to become a thing in his neck of the woods – because maybe then he could have avoided having his wood stuck in the neck of a toilet pipe.
Like Art, The Value of Dirty Bathwater is Whatever a Collector is Willing to Pay
I’ve come up with some pretty unlikely business ideas in my time (like my notion of an Arizona-based sled dog school for chihuahuas that never really took off), but I must admit it never occurred to me that people might be willing to buy my dirty bathwater.
Look, I’m not saying I understand why anyone would want to buy dirty bathwater in 2019, I’m just taking off my hat to a girl who figured out she could sell it. And that price point – $43 a jar! – is nothing if not unfiltered capitalistic chutzpah.
And Finally, A Bunch of Worms that Look Like Dicks in 2019!
The last entry on my list of weird, great, dumb sex-related stories really isn’t a sex-related story at all. Well, in a sense it is, because it’s a story about dicks – but it’s about dicks that aren’t actually dicks.
What the hell am I talking about? Why, the recent display of fat innkeeper worms on a beach in 2019 California, of course.
For me, the great part of this story wasn’t the mere fact of the worms-that-look-like-dicks on a beach in California, it was learning that in Korea, these worms are sold as food – and the name for them, gaebul, translates as “dog dick.”
Don’t get me wrong, there are some things in this country other people consider delicacies that you’re never going to get me to try, either – but to my knowledge, nobody who does eat them refers to those gross foods as dog dick.
There you have it folks – five of the best, dumbest, weirdest, sex-related stories of 2019. What will 2020 bring? Hopefully more of the same, because without stories like these, this girl wouldn’t just be far less entertained from day to day, she’d be out of work.
Happy New Year, everybody! Check out our main site at sssh.com for a huge library of sex entertainment for women.