Giving Thanks (Strangely) for Weird Sex News this Thanksgiving
It’s Thanksgiving time again — which for a literalist like Calico means suddenly feeling guilty over the fact that rather than spending the whole year occasionally reflecting on the things in life for which she’s thankful, she tends to only reflect on when prompted to do so by the arrival of fall.
But how can Calico address ALL the things for which she’s thankful in a matter of several paragraphs? She can’t, of course, which means that she has to prioritize — and if you’ve ever watched Calico make a to-do list, decide what to stream next on Netflix or pack a “go bag” to have on hand in case of fire, then you know she’s not particularly good at prioritizing.
Thankfully, the nature of Calico’s writing gig is here to save her, focusing her thankfulness down on to a manageable universe of people, places, ideas and things.
What are Calico’s thankfulness priorities? What’s the connection between feeling thankful and eating several pounds of mashed potatoes in a single sitting? And how come you never hear about aliens abducting men and taking their eggs? Are these aliens misogynists, or what?
Read all about it, then probably immediately regret having done so, in Calico’s latest post, “Giving Thanks (Strangely).”
– Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com
I try to be the sort of person who takes stock of the things for which she’s thankful year-round, rather than wait for a holiday with the word “Thanks” right there in its name to invite me to reflect on such things.
Unfortunately, I nearly always fail at this more balanced approach to being thankful for things, which means here I am, again, making my mental list of thankful things, right as turkey day waddles into view on the calendar.
I’m also a practical person, who realizes she can’t possibly cover everything for which she’s thankful in a single blog post (could anyone?), so some narrowing of the field is in order here. And since I have an irresistible affection for weird news stories and a requirement that my subjects be at least somewhat topical, so it has come to pass that this year’s Official List of Things for which Calico is Thankful is, in fact, an Official List of Recent Weird News Things for which Calico is Thankful.
Wait: Let’s Further Narrow the Field
Due to the nature of this site, I mostly write about sex- and porn-related weird news. This is not to suggest that I fail to appreciate things like accidental stowaway roadrunners who go wind up traveling from Nevada to Maine, or giant potatoes named “Doug” that are found in New Zealand. I’m just saying that it’s things sexual, pornographic, dating and (for lack of a better term) “naughty bits-related” that are my focus here, and so this Official List of Things for which Calico Thankful shall be no different.
Less Cliché Than an Anal Probe, At Least
As a longtime fan of sci-fi, I would really like to believe that aliens abduct people all the time – although I could do without being one of those people, especially if the aliens planned to do invasive procedures and/or research on me. That’s why I’m so deeply thankful for Sheera Lumira Rejoice, a woman who has been taking one for the team in serving as the aliens’ current guinea pig of choice when it comes to egg removal.
“You can believe me, or you don’t have to, just know that not everybody lives in a scientific reality and some folks live in a very spiritual way and some experiences really do change peoples’ lives,” Sheera said to her doubters.
I believe you Sheera – and trust me, if aliens ever show up looking to probe me in any fashion, I’ll be sure to refer them your way as an alternative course of action. I mean, experience counts, right?
Serious Question: Is There a Yelp for Date Reviews?
While it has been many years since I last dated, and therefor many years since my last dating experience, negative or positive, I’m still affected enough by my many bad dates of yesteryear that little brings me more pleasure than hearing about someone else’s bad date. Yes, I know this makes me an awful person, but at least I can admit to being an awful person, unlike virtually every elected official in the country.
In this case, however, it’s not really a “bad” date that I’m thankful because it didn’t happen to me – it’s something I find to be a cute story that I’m just thankful to have read. I mean, I can see why someone might find it irritating or strange, but to me, the idea of a post-date “exit survey” is kinda cute. Well played, Graham, whomever you are!
Who ISN’T Thankful for Humpasaurus Rex Nuggets?
As much as it can be irritating and slow down meal preparation when frozen items stick together, if I ever buy a bag (or box, or whatever container type it is that they come in) of frozen turkey nuggets shaped like dinosaurs and there isn’t a pair of them frozen together in a pose that makes it look like they’re having sex in the standing doggystyle position, I’m going back to the store for a refund.
Happy Thanksgiving folks!
- Holly Jane Talks OnlyFans and Mormon Excommunication in New Newsweek Article - September 11, 2023
- How Right Clothing Goes Along with Adult Sex Toys? - July 12, 2023
- Brad Jones of @Meetkinksters Joins This Week’s #SexTalkTuesday - June 26, 2023