Filth (I’m Glad to Say) is in the Eye of the Beholder, Too

Filth (I’m Glad to Say) is in the Eye of the Beholder, Too.

Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Filth Porn For Women

Read on…

One of the great joys of the internet is how it enables us to immediately share with large numbers of people hilarious discoveries that in the old, pre-internet days, would have required a lot more leg work to distribute far and wide.

As a perpetually immature, easily-amused and joyfully filth-minded person, I’ve watched with great pleasure as my favorite category of hilarious thing along these lines has evolved into something of an internet classic category: The image that looks sexually “dirty,” but isn’t.

The best part of this kind of imagery is that its effect speaks to the extent to which our perception of such things is ingrained and automatic – how our mind seizes on a visual and interprets it as something sexual or ‘naughty’, without any effort on our part. I think of it as kind of an involuntary corollary to the Tom Lehrer observation that I paraphrased in the title of this post: As it turns out, filth is “in the mind of the beholder” in more ways than one.

What Were They Thinking? (Corporate Logo Edition)

Usually, these smutty-appearing photos are a matter of happenstance – one person’s leg overlapping another person’s leg in an unfortunate way, or something in the foreground visually merging with something in the background, such than an armpit crease becomes an ass crack, for example.

Sometimes though, the image in question is something like a corporate logo, which means that multiple must have reviewed it before it was put out there in public, looking like a man urinating in a small wastebasket.

Some of these spectacular logo fails are so bad, I feel like there must be a Snopes post out there somewhere revealing them as fake. I mean, seriously, this one from a pediatric clinic can’t be real, can it? And this, from a Catholic Archdiocesan Youth Commission? No way, right? Help me out here, fine folks from Sunrise Sushi.

On the bright side, at least none of these (visually-challenged, evidently) organizations appear to be planning to execute a global attack on the earth’s ecosystem, unlike certain other companies I could mention.

Is that a Smaller Eggplant in Your Pocket, or are You Just Happy to be Part of My Food Box?

Happily, we humans have nothing on the natural world when it comes to cooking up naughty looking renditions of entirely nonsexual items, from strawberries and potatoes to eggplants. 

I thought the eggplant linked above was my favorite example of aubergine erotica until just recently, when a friend sent me a link to an item I somehow managed to miss in September, which introduced me to this proud little fellow.

Honestly though, as much as I enjoy thinking of this veggie as a cartoonish little man with an enormous purple erection, the more I look at it the more I agree with Becca Wright, the woman who received the eggplant as part of a delivery from OddBox: He might look even more like Mist – er, I mean Gender-Neutral Potato Head than a sexually aroused member of the California Raisins.

“It was crying out to have some eyes added,” Becca noted, added that it’s hard to picture cooking and eating her new friend, especially now that he has acquired a measure of internet fame.

“The challenge now is deciding whether to cook it,” Becca said at the time, “it’s brought too much entertainment over the last few days that I would almost feel guilty.”

Again, I’m with Becca. Who could put a peeler to a face like that? Alternatively, who among us could bake, toast or pan-fry such a cute little purple penis? Maybe a monster like one of those cruel celebrity chefs who serve as judges on reality show cooking competitions – but I like to think even Gordon Ramsey would have a soft spot in his heart for Mr. Turgid Eggplant.

Looking for some filth porn?  Check out Wasteland.com and be ready to clutch your pearls!