And the World’s Sexiest Nationality Is…. (Drumroll Please)

by Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Porn For Women

MissTravel, which bills itself as the web’s only “online dating site for travelers”, recently polled its members to see which countries they’ve found to have the sexiest men and women. Topping the list for women is Brazil, that storied land of the well-bronzed badonkadonk, while the world’s sexiest men are to be found in Australia, according to the MissTravel members.

And who are these MissTravel members, exactly? The site describes them as “generous travelers who hate to travel alone” and “attractive travelers who would love the opportunity to travel the world for free.” (MissTravel members are people who are totally NOT Johns and escorts, by the way. The site strictly prohibits such unsavory people from hanging around through the most effective means possible: they have some text in the site footer that says “escorts are not welcome.” Problem solved!)

Here are the Top Ten lists in their entirety:

Read on…

Sexiest Nationalities, Men:

10. Dutch

9. Canadian

8. Brazilian

7. Irish

6. American

5. Spanish

4. Scottish

3. British

2. Italian

and…

1. Australian, For The Win!

Sexiest Nationalities, Women:

10. Canadian

9. South African

8. Bulgarian

7. Australian

6. Spanish

5. Filipina

4. British

3. Colombian

2. Russian

and…

1. Brazilian, For The Win

Of the things that jump off the page at me here, the one that tops the list is that it’s quite clear the people who created this survey are a bit confused as to the definition of the term “British.” (If they aren’t thus confused, it’s hard to explain why there’s a separate listing for “Scottish.”) Beyond that, I’m never sure what to make lists like this when there’s no real criteria given for constitutes sexiness. Based on the outcome of the survey, it’s safe to assume that dental health and hygiene is not a significant consideration among the women who took the survey, and you might reasonable speculate that “ass men” are overrepresented in the male respondent pool, but other than that, we’re left in the dark.

Averaging out the results above to derive a “sexiest nation” is fraught with less than sound assumptions – but let’s do it anyway. Coming in at the top spot for women helps Brazil, but its ninth place finish on the male side of the coin eliminates it from the running for the top overall spot. Russians are sitting pretty in the ladies’ list, but entirely absent from its companion. Spaniards finish comfortably in the middle of the pack on both, but not high enough to take the title.

The overall winner, mathematically at least, is…. The British?

Intuitively, this just doesn’t seem right to me – especially since separating out the Scots from the Brits eliminates the possibility that Sean Connery has skewed the equation. Also, where the hell are the Scandinavians on this list? Have the sugar daddies of MissTravel never made their way to Sweden? Try Googling “Fredrik Ljungberg” and/or “Elin Grindemyr” and you’ll get a small taste of why I’m indignant about snubbing the Scandies; there’s one hell of a lot of attractive folks tucked up there. Whether you’re talking about the Swedes, the Norse or the Danes (yes, that’s right – there’s something hotten in Denmark), it’s an entire region that looks like it walked off the set of a Guess photoshoot.

At first, I was also a bit offended by the fact that American women didn’t make the top 10, but then it occurred to me that this is a travel site clearly aimed at Americans, and presumably a lot of their traveling involves leaving the country, so maybe it’s just a matter of context. (Either that, or the male respondents shop at Walmart a lot, a practice that can color anyone’s perception of the sexiness of American womanhood….)

What bothers me most about the list, however, is its implications for the traveling companion portion of the MissTravel population. Suppose I find a “generous” man to travel with, and he takes me to Brazil, then dumps me on Copacabana Beach in favor of some volleyball-playing Mulher Melancia in a skimpy thong? Does MissTravel guarantee that all paid-for travel shall be round trip?

I don’t speak Portuguese and my butt is flat, so this is more than an idle hypothetical question; I don’t want to spend the next six years selling Chicle Bool to people riding the Sao Paolo Metro in order to buy a ticket back to the States!