If You’re Going To Be An Asshole Tourist, At Least Be An Original Asshole Tourist

In Calico’s estimation, it’s one thing to be a jerk, but quite another to be cliche jerk. Being unoriginal simply exacerbates and enhances your jerkishness in the most obvious of ways. For example, if you’re going to insult a person whose last name is “Hart,” and you immediately think to hit them with a zinger that includes replacing their last name with “fart,” the chance they’ve heard such an insult before is roughly 100%. Congratulations: You’ve made them roll their eyes!

Along those same lines, while there’s nothing inherently wrong with filming porn, when you choose to do so in certain places — easily damaged archaeological sites, national monuments filled with people who don’t want to see you naked, the back seat of your neighbor’s car —  that makes you an asshole. And when you do so three years after some other asshole has done essentially the same thing, then you level-up to full Unoriginal Asshole status.

So, who has drawn Calico’s ire to the point she’s declared him the latest worthy recipient of the Unoriginal Asshole title? Find out in her latest post, “If You’re Going To Be An Asshole Tourist, At Least Be An Original Asshole Tourist.“

by Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Porn Movies For Women and Couples

Back when I was teenager, several of my friends and I all did the Overnight Goth: Just add blue-black hair dye thing together as group one weekend. One minute, we looked like our sophomore yearbook pictures, kids of whom their moms could be proud. The next, we looked like Christian Death groupies – the stuff of moms’ nightmares.

In retrospect, it was pretty much a desperate cry for attention from a bunch of middle-class kids who just needed to feel different (somehow, it didn’t really matter how) from our peers.

This is not to say the ploy for attention didn’t work, because it did. Granted, I’m not sure the attention we were looking for was constant ridicule, base rudeness and the occasional threat of violence from people who were even more pathetic than we were, but beggars can’t be choosers and all that.

At any rate, as we absorbed the mockery hurled our way, I came to really appreciate those rare individuals who managed to come up with something original to say when insulting us. After all, “Halloween is over, you fuckin’ freaks!” isn’t even clever the first time you hear it, let alone the fiftieth.

There’s Something Rotten in Denmark: Lame Internet Porn Edition

I was reminded of the persistent lack of originality among assholes earlier today, when a friend sent me a link to an article about a Danish photographer who posted images and videos of he and a woman purportedly having sex atop the Great Pyramid of Giza.

I guess at a time when acting like an utter jackass occasionally results in quite positive outcomes (like getting elected as President of the United States, for example), I can understand the motivation to post such stuff, even if it’s fake – which these images and video may well be.

The Danish photographer in question, Andreas Hvid, says he is “forever in search of beautiful locations where you cannot be.” I suppose to some people that sounds romantic, or like a good rationalization for sneaking into places which are presented as “off limits” so you can shoot a video of yourself while fucking. But to me, it’s somewhat less than a half-step above standing on a table in a fancy restaurant shrieking “Everybody look at MEEEEE!!! Aren’t I outrageous???”

OK, so you’re outrageous pal – good for you. Now, will you kindly shut the fuck up so I can enjoy my outrageously overpriced wedge salad in peace?

Confirmed: Three Years Later, This Stunt is Still Dumb and Uninteresting

Why do I say this Danish dumbass is also unoriginal? Because I have a good memory – and spend way too much time trawling the internet in search of sex-related stuff to write about.

Those two traits combine to assure I don’t forget things like asshole tourists who shoot porn in places like Giza, just to prove what asshole tourists they are.

Yeah, that’s right Andreas, I just called you an unoriginal asshole. What are you going to do about it – go shoot a porn video in Cambodia?

As someone who has spent close to half her life in the adult entertainment industry, I should hope I don’t have to explain my objection here isn’t based on thinking porn, or shooting porn, is an inherently bad thing to do.

Just like anything else though, there’s a time and place for shooting porn. For that matter, there are millions of times and places for shooting porn. I just happen to think shooting porn in Giza isn’t intrepid, or meaningfully defiant, or artistically “edgy,” just pointlessly obnoxious.