HIV singles and everyone else, really, who’s ever contemplated being in a friends-with-benefits kind of relationship, beware. Today we debunk the myths that keep on following this particular dating style so that you know exactly what kinds of headaches you can expect to get if you find yourself bonking your friend sans commitment.
#1: People Are Emotional Creatures
The trouble with friends with benefits is that at first it can seem like a no muss-no fuss kind a thing where you just get in, get it on, and get out, but the reality is actually quite different. In most cases one of the partakers is likely to start to expect more out of the relationship or, god forbid, develop feelings for the other person. This partaker is usually female because, let’s face it, guys will sleep with anything in a skirt whereas girls are far more picky when it comes to choosing partners, even if it’s for casual sex with someone they already know. Her committed girlfriends will start saying things like, ‘it’s not fun unless he worships you’, and the female is likely to start questioning the motives behind the relationship, finally arriving at an impasse called ‘where is this going’.
#2: No Commitment From The Guy
A friends-with-benefits kind of arrangement is something that suits guys much more than girls. An average girl wants commitment, and even though she was willing to sleep with a friend ‘just because’, deep down she’s hoping her friend would wake up one day and realize he’s in love with her. This doesn’t mean she loves him back, but let’s not forget that every girl wants to feel special, and that’s kind of hard to achieve when she’s just bumping uglies with someone. Plus, when he realizes she keeps coming back for more, he’ll start to feel more comfortable in the situation by suggesting they invite another friend over for the party or just by slipping away into someone’s else bedroom. For most girls, this would mean an end to their arrangement.
#3: And Then There’s Jealousy
Guys need to get it through their heads that Samantha Jones is a fictional character they’re unlikely to meet in the real world as much as they would want to. The no-strings-attached kind of lifestyle works much better on television than it does in real life, and as soon as the guy realizes he doesn’t have to commit to his friend, he’ll keep on pursuing other girls, which is not going to be met with an approval. The trouble is that the two friends aren’t really dating and she can’t ask him to commit because that would ruin the entire concept, but that doesn’t mean his actions don’t bother her. Eventually, she’ll find a way to tell him he shouldn’t see other girls, which is another scenario that can end their relationship.
#4: Very Few Friendships Can Survive This Phase
One of the harshest truths about friends with benefits is that very few friendships survive this phase. This means that after years and years of hanging out together, celebrating birthdays, partying until the wee hours on New Year’s, crying over broken hearts, supporting each other through hard times with work, other friends from the group, crushes and everything that means to be friends with someone gets thrown out the window over sex. Mind you, lots of people find themselves in the arms of their friends at one point in their lives, but that doesn’t mean it’s worth the risk.
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