The NFT Craze. It’s No Banana Taped to a Wall, But…

The NFT craze. It’s No Banana Taped to a Wall, But…

In a world full of abbreviations, Calico has decided to explore “NFT” — which of course stands for “Not For Tourists.”

Wait, no — sorry. The NFT Calico is going to explore stands for Non-Fungible Token, which would probably explain everything, if only I knew what “fungible” means.

The important thing to know about NFTs, at least from Calico’s lazily greedy perspective, is that some people out there are making a TON of money selling NFTs. And while those people are probably a lot more industrious, talented and willing to sit upright for several hours at a time than Calico is, maybe if she really applies herself, she could learn how to make (or mine, or grow, or however it works) NFTs herself. After all, if these hardworking, hustling people can make millions off their NFTs, surely Calico can earn tens, maybe even dozens of ethereum… whatever that is.

Can Calico overcome her crypto ignorance and cash in on the NFT craze? Is buying an NFT for millions of dollars really crazier than spending the same kind of money on a baseball card? Did someone seriously pay thousands for a fucking cereal box? Oh wait, it was Yellow Submarine cereal box? That’s a different story.

Follow Calico’s possibly ill-fated quest to become an NFT dozenaire in her latest post: “It’s No Banana Taped to a Wall, But…”

– Calico Rudasill, porn movies for women

Read on…

I’ve never been big on collecting things – or big on collecting things that are considered collectible, at least. I do have an impressive pile of cat hair dust bunnies beneath my armoire right now, for example, but last I checked those don’t command much of a price at Sotheby’s.

While I understand that the value of a collectible is whatever the market decides it to be, what I’ll never understand is the market itself, in many cases. I don’t think it’s just some kind of “traditionalist” bias on my part, because the fact that someone would pay $9.48 million for a stamp or shell out $6.6 million for a baseball card makes any more (or less) sense than the notion of someone paying $69 million for an NFT.

For some reason, possibly the far lower price tag, I do understand paying $6000 for an almost complete book of matches with a drawing of Charles Lindbergh on the cover. And a Yellow Submarine-themed cereal box from the late 60s? I’d buy that for $110 – which is 1% of the asking price for one that went up for sale online back in 2016.


To be honest, when I first heard the term “non-fungible token,” I misunderstood the term entirely and was briefly consumed with the idea that there were coins out there on which it was possible to grow mushrooms.

I will also admit that sitting here, months after that initial confusion, even after reading several articles like the Verge one linked above, I still haven’t wrapped my brain around what NFTs are, or why some are selling for prices that seem astronomical, particularly when viewed from the altitude of my checking account balance.

What I do accept is that there’s a market for NFTs – a big and potentially lucrative one, apparently. And, because there’s a market for NFTs, that necessarily means there’s a market for porn NFTs, because Rule 34.

How-To NFT is Not TLDR

Now that I’ve accepted there’s a large and potentially lucrative market for NFTs, my not-so-entrepreneurial mind turns to the next big question: How does one get in on this NFT thing and is it easy enough to overcome my reflexive laziness?

“How to make, buy and sell NFTs,” says the headline. Bingo. Or close to bingo, anyway; I don’t’ really care about buying NFTs. But, as Meatloaf once sang

Unfortunately, I’m immediately confronted with the need to do things like open accounts on platforms that only deal in cryptocurrency, which means I have to buy cryptocurrency first, or maybe second, but in any event before I can sell an NFT and earn money… money that I guess will come to me in the form of cryptocurrency? Wait: Are NFTs made of cryptocurrency?

Maybe my niece is right. Maybe I’m too old for this crypto stuff. Nonetheless, I forge ahead undaunted (ok, maybe a little daunted), because you know – big, potentially lucrative market, Meatloaf, “easy money” and all that.

By scrolling along, what I discover is that creating an NFT and putting it up for sale sounds easier than buying one, oddly enough. You can read the full instructions for yourself towards the end of the CNBC article, but the lazy, brief, Calico version is this: Go to a website, upload a file, set a price, input a name and description for your NFT and submit that sucker. I’m sure there’s more to it than that (right?), but that’s the gist of it. Transitioning the NFT from being up for sale to sold is the tricky part, I reckon. 

My verdict: Yes, making an NFT is easy enough to easily pass my laziness test. 

Next question: Is the act of marketing and promoting NFTs also something that can pass my laziness test? 

I’ll explore that question another time. Right now, I’m running late for a non-fungible nap.

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