Speak for Yourself, “Mesmerized” Slug Sex Voyeurs

Speak for Yourself, “Mesmerized” Slug Sex Voyeurs

While she doesn’t like to get TOO picky, Calico is the first to admit she can get a bit hung up on word choices people make, especially when they choose a word with a definition that sets the bar high for its use.

So, when Calico saw a headline which promised to reveal “mesmerizing” details of the sex lives of the article’s subject, she immediately wondered whether the story would live up to the headline’s hype. 

After all, some of the other news headlines using “mesmerizing” involved things like golf club lockers (whatever the hell those are) and the biography of a cherished, recently deceased actress — which, interesting though they may be, fall well short of anything Calico would find mesmerizing. Mesmerized???

What sort of sex life details did the headline writer find so fascinating? Did it pass Calico’s semantic test for the “mesmerizing” threshold? Find out in Calico’s latest post, “Speak for Yourself, ‘Mesmerized’ Slug-Sex Voyeurs”

by Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Erotic Movies for Women and Couples

There are certain words that, while fabulous and useful, just don’t make it into news headlines that often. One of these words is “mesmerizing” – and the rarity of its use is probably a sensible thing, given that dictionaries often define the word as applying to things which “capturing one’s attention as if by magic” or that “hold the complete attention of” of the viewer.

My informal review of recent uses of mesmerizing in headlines shows that it has been applied to a biography of Carrie Fisher, the annual Glow Festival of Lights, Rory McIlroy’s golf club locker and a particular golf shot by someone named Joaquin Niemann. 

While you might tempted to conclude from the above information that 50% of all “mesmerizing” news headlines pertain to golf, that conclusion would be wrong – because the percentage drops to forty when you take into account the headline that caught my eye today.

And what was so mesmerizing in that fifth headline? Why, it’s slug sex, naturally!

You Lost Me at “Mucus Rope”

While I’ll admit to being a tad skeptical that I’ll find myself truly mesmerized by slug sex, I try to maintain an open mind. So, before I judge this one, let’s hear more about what makes slug sex so fascinating.

“Under the cover of night, two large leopard slugs begin to court, circling each other, before climbing single-file up a tree or onto a rock. They lower themselves on a mucus rope, while entwining their bodies in a strictly anti-clockwise fashion.”

Hmm. That opening is promising enough – a romantic, poetic introduction if ever there was one. But there’s just something about the term “mucus rope” which makes my brow furrow. I’m sure that’s just a kneejerk reaction on my part though and this account of mesmerizing slug sex is about to get good.

“Both slugs then push out and entwine two overly-sized penises from openings on the side of their head, before exchanging sperm that may later fertilise each of their eggs…. Or, perhaps be eaten. Eventually, one slug crawls off and the other follows, eating the mucus trapeze as it goes.”

A “mucus trapeze”? And I thought “mucus rope” was off-putting! Now I’m envisioning Jules Léotard dangling from a bunch of slug spit – and trust me, that is not a mesmerizing image.

And I Thought I Was Versatile in Bed!

While I can’t imagine my attention being “captured as if by magic” when confronted with slugs having sex (or video thereof), I do understand being fascinated by some of the details here. 

The ability to have sex as a male or female, for example? Now that’s something which might mesmerize me – but only if I had the ability to do so myself, because it would mean having the ability to flip my husband over and fuck his butt with a real penis, as opposed to one with no feeling of its own that I have to strap around my waist like some kind of goddam utility belt.

I’m a bit less interested in why slugs turn counter-clockwise during sex – although if it turns out that’s a way to keep a big sweaty slug from mounting you and dripping perspiration down into your eyes, I suppose it could have some relevance to my own sex life.

I Think Maybe Science Alert Buried the Lede Here

While I’m not in any way obsessed with penis size, at least not in the context of sex, where your partner having an oversized penis actually can be a detriment (and honestly, I’m not just saying that to make some of you feel better about yourselves), there is something undeniably fascinating about a penis that’s WAY too big compared to the rest of the penis-owner’s body.

As such, I kinda feel like the folks from Science Alert buried the lede a bit by putting this following tidbit towards the end of its article: These slugs have extremely long penises – and they’d seem extremely long even if they were attached to horses, let alone humans.

How long are their penises? Well, in one Italian version of the leopard slug, the penises range up to 60-90 centimeters – or 23.62 to 34.43 inches, for those who are not metrically inclined.

As I said, I’m not one to obsess on penis size… but two to three feet of penis? That’s just objectively impressive – even if it has a “mucus rope” hanging from it.