Of Magic, Magic Johnson and Performing Magic on Someone’s Johnson

In looking around for sex-related news to read, Calico is accustomed to running across some subjects repeatedly, like “sex robots” when she searches for tech-related sex stories, or articles about state legislatures passing dumb, meaningless anti-porn resolutions. What she didn’t expect to see — and hadn’t seen until recently — is references to “magic” mixed into her sex-related news.

Magic and conventions filled with nerdy comic book readers? Sure, those you find together in the news all the time. Magic and sports? Oh, hell yeah — especially with all the turmoil around Magic Johnson quitting his job with the Lakers, and the fact the NBA has a team named “the Orlando Magic.” But magic and sex?

This is a new one on Calico. What will she learn as she reads about the secrets to unlocking sex magic? What sort of spells might she cast, and which body parts might she use to cast them? Find out in her latest post: “Of Magic, Magic Johnson and Performing Magic on Someone’s Johnson”

magic sex robot

by Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Porn For Women and Couples Movies

In my never-ending quest for sex-and-or-porn-related news tidbits to consume, remix and/or regurgitate, there are certain areas of ‘crossover’ I’m never surprised to stumble across as I search. 

The media’s massive, ongoing fascination with “sex robots,” for example means I’m liable to find plenty of articles about sex bots any time I’m seeking any sort of ‘sex tech’ angle. Some of these sex robot articles will be designed to make us see such creations as potentially useful and important, others will argue sex robots are a harbinger of humanity’s impending doom and still others will be about a sex robot advocate who wins something called the “Queen’s Birthday honour” – which, I’m told by a reliable source, does not involve seeing the Queen in her “birthday suit.”

At any rate, while “robot” is not a word I’m surprised to find cross-pollinating my sex-related news searches, I was a little surprised to have the word “magic” creep into such searches today.

No, Not A Basketball-Related ‘Magic’ – the Sex Kind

It’s not that I never run across “magic” in the news, it’s just that I’m not used to it being a guide on “how to use sex magic to manifest your best self.”

Typically, when I see magic in the news, it’s one of what seems like millions of stories about Magic Johnson quitting his job with the Lakers, or something about “Magic: The Gathering” (like how you can build a Turing machine while playing “Magic: The Gathering”), or Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban celebrating 13 years of magic.

Sex magic in the news, on the other hand? That’s a new one on me.

According to the Red Hot Chili Peppers, I Believe There’s Some Blood and Sugar Involved Here, Too?

Now that Teen Vogue has my attention – and yes, I’m aware I’m about 30 years older than their openly declared target market, thank you very much – what is this sex magic of which they speak?

“In magic, orgasms are considered to be the ultimate magical force,” writes Lisa Stardust (no relation to Ziggy, I think). “In fact, occultists believe that orgasms can help cleanse the body, produce magical power, and are a vital tool in manifesting desires.”

OK, then. I don’t recall Gandalf or Merlin ever mentioning the magic power of orgasms to hobbits or anyone kicking around Camelot, but I’ll take Lisa’s word for it.

Can I Learn to Shape Shift into Something Kit Harrington Finds Attractive?

Reading further, I’m greeted by a section title that immediately starts my imagination running wild: “What kind of spells can you cast with orgasms?”

Setting aside the fact that there are some nights where I feel like I’d need a spell to make an orgasm happen and not the other way around, this is my kind of question, for sure – short, straight to the point, practical and containing the word orgasm.

“You can attempt to cast any spell you want using sex magic,” Lisa replies, “but, the first thing to remember is that magic works best when done on yourself.”

Hmm. There goes my idea for the first spell to try casting via an orgasm: “Inflict Wounds” – which I was hoping I could direct at the neighbor in the house to my east, who keeps running a leaf blower first thing in the morning every Saturday.

Give This Skeptic Something Concrete that She Can Work With!

At the risk of seeming overly skeptical about sex magic, I must say Ms. Stardust hasn’t given me a lot to hang my would-be wizard’s hat here, at least in terms of practical how-to. It’s all about “visualization” and “intention” and other stuff I can’t plot on a wiring diagram. 

C’mon Lisa, don’t you have at least one solid, specific, practical tip you can give this sex magic novice to get her started?

“Charge your sex toys under the moon.”

Damn. And here I thought I was being soooo smart in buying all these solar-powered vibrators!

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