Sex In Public Humor: Flower Bed”: A Term NOT Meant To Be Taken Literally

Sex In Public Humor: “Flower Bed” – A Term NOT Meant To Be Taken Literally

While Calico isn’t a big fan of having sex in public, this doesn’t mean she’s never done it — or that she hasn’t had sex in some strange places, both private and public, over the years.

In fact, when she looks over online lists of supposedly “bizarre” public places in which people say they’ve had sex, Calico spends a lot of her time thinking “what’s so strange about that?” or “Hasn’t everybody had sex in a car at least a few times?” or “Even if they haven’t been fucked IN one, who hasn’t gotten fucked BY a bank?”

Some of these so-called strange places not only seem like relatively normal places to have sex, they almost seem like they’re made for — or at least named for — that very activity.

What manner of place could be seen as strange and inappropriate for public hook-ups to other people, but A-OK in Calico’s book? Calico gives several examples in her latest helpful, reinforcing, destigmatizing post, “Public Flower Beds: A Term Not Meant To Be Taken Literally”

by Calico Rudasill, Porn For Women and Couples Movies

sex in public funny

What’s the strangest place in which you’ve ever had sex?

I was first asked the question above while attending a slumber party as a teenager – awkwardly enough, a query posed to me before I’d had sex at all, much less in any strange public locations.

Many years later, the question is one about which I need to think for a good 90 seconds, just to make sure I come up with a comprehensive mental list before arriving upon the correct answer.

“I’m Lovin’ It” Indeed!

It’s a topic about which you can find many an online article and blog post, like this Business Insider piece, “The 25 absolute weirdest places people have admitted to having sex” – and by the way, given that topic, maybe the more appropriate rendering of that publication’s title would be Business Inside Her, am I right? Ha – rimshot! I’m killing me over here. 

But I digress.

So, what are some of these 25 outlandish, super bizarre public places in which people have had sex? Well, there’s inside a phone booth at the Epcot Center, the drive thru of a fast food joint, “behind a convenience store during the day,” on their boss’ new desk, in a dentist’s chair, under the stage during a concert and 19 other spots which, frankly, also don’t strike me as being all that strange.

Now, if folks were having sex on top of the Golden Arches outside a McDonald’s during the day while people passed beneath them in the drive-thru lane, that would be something to write home (and/or Business Insider) about. 

But just fucking in your car while in the drive thru lane? I’d say that’s mildly rude, probably not terribly comfortable and asking for trouble in a vehicle with a manual transmission, but not one of the “absolute weirdest” places in which anyone has ever had sex.


Getting Fucked at the Bank is Nothing New

The British media has a talent for reporting on sex in unusual places, so I’m not surprised to find that this article from The Sun quickly topped the Business Insider list in terms of bizarreness (or at least inappropriateness) of sex locations – although it’s kind of cheating to have images from the incidents in question, because that clearly ups the salaciousness factor significantly.

That said, I’m sure the couple featured in the blurb about people having sex inside an HSBC branch is far from the first time someone has gotten fucked in a bank, if you catch my drift.

The Sun is also where I read about Matthew Farrell and his girlfriend Antoinette Liddell, who were filmed by a CCTV camera in a post office as Antoinette “performed a sex act” on Matthew. What sex act? If you guessed “fellatio” then give yourself three gold stars – or maybe three Union Jacks would be more appropriate. (Either way, don’t give yourself any stars or flags if you clicked through to the article first and saw the “Aisle Be Blown” portion of the headline before you guessed…)

So Much for “The Customer is Always Right”

Sometimes these “strange” places where people report they’ve had sex (or have been caught in the act) don’t just strike me as relatively mundane, but somewhat intuitive, or even sensible.

I mean, sure – all sex in public is kind of strange, but how strange can it ever be to have sex in a bed? OK, granted, in the case of a recent incident reported out of La Crosse, Wisconsin, the bed in question was a flower bed, but c’mon – it’s got the word “bed” right in there; who wouldn’t think that was the most appropriate place to have public sex?

Well, evidently the answer to my question is the La Crosse Police Department, because they ticketed the couple in question for “indecent exposure” for their tryst, which took place in the “lower flower bed” of the U.S. Bank building in downtown La Crosse.

See, that was their mistake – having sex in the flower bed of the U.S. Bank on Main. In La Crosse, U.S. Bank only offers in-bed service at the 2nd Street location.

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