Penis Size and Self-Esteem Study – Be Careful What You Ask For!

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Penis Size and Self-Esteem Study. If the internet has taught us nothing else, it’s that any company or person who solicits suggestions from the broad universe of “Netizens” is bound to be swamped with sarcasm, meanspirited jokes or outright verbal harassment. This is something Missouri State University sociologist Dr. Alicia Walker probably should have considered before she asked the internet for help with some research she was doing.

Making matters far, far worse, Dr. Walker’s research was about the connection between penis size and self-esteem, so part of what she asked the internet for was dick pics — as though men ever needed an invitation to send a woman a dick pic!

You can probably guess how this ended (spoiler alert: not well), but you should still read all about it in Calico’s latest post, File Under “Careful What You Ask For…”

by Calico Rudasill, Porn For Women

If you’ve ever heard the story of how one of the submersible crafts aboard the RRS Sir David Attenborough, the Natural Environment Research Council’s research vessel, came to be called “Boaty McBoatface,” then you have seen a perfect demonstration of why the old saying “Be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it” exists.

The very nature of the internet – and the quasi-anonymity it affords its users, in particular – makes it the perfect incubator for sarcasm, absurdity and cruel humor. In such an environment, soliciting feedback for any serious purpose is a dicey endeavor, at best.

As such, Missouri State University sociologist Dr. Alicia Walker probably should have realized actively requesting that men send her pictures of their penises might not end well.

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You Needn’t Ask Men For Dick Pics; Just Own A Phone

If you’re like me, the first question which comes to mind when you hear a professor has asked men to send her dick pics is: “Why didn’t she just join Tinder?”

In case you (like Dr. Walker, evidently) haven’t heard, a lot of men on the internet will send pictures of their junk to any woman whose contact information they happen to possess.

Look, I’m no prude: If a woman definitively indicates she wants to see a picture of your dick, then sure – grab your smartphone, snap a quick cock-shot and do as she asks.

The problem is, fellas, you’re not waiting for such a definitive indication, now are you?

“Women understandably complain about” men sending them dick pics for two quite solid reasons, notes David Ley in the Psychology Today article linked above.

“First, they really don’t want to see these pics,” Ley correctly observes. “Secondly, guys send the pics without asking, often without any explanation or context. Typically, sending such a picture is one of the first communications women receive from these men.”

Speaking Of Size, Maybe Her Need Was A Matter Of Scale?

What if you don’t want just a few dozen dick pics, though? What if, for the purposes of research, you need 3,600 of them? I mean, if you rely on unsolicited dick pics sent by total strangers alone, it could take weeks on Tinder (or several days at the New York Jets practice facility) to come up with that many!

This was the dilemma confronted by Dr. Walker, who wanted to investigate a potential connection between penis size and self-esteem. Specifically, she wanted pictures of penises from men over the age of 22, who would also need to fill out a survey concerning their self-perception and self-esteem.

My hunch? Doc Walker got plenty of dick pics – many of them likely photoshopped to enhance the size of the organ, and/or add a bitchin’ Camaro in the background – but not so many completed surveys.

In any event, whatever led Walker to think this approach to gathering data was the way to go didn’t last long.

“In response to the public reaction to her research on penis size and self-esteem, Dr. Alicia Walker decided to discontinue the project,” Missouri State said in a statement published June 28.

Walker emphasized she made the decision to shut down the project voluntarily – which is good, because I would seriously question the commitment to academic freedom of any university which would force a sociologist to stop accepting dick pics.

“I continue to believe the relationship between penis size and self-esteem is an important site of scientific inquiry, but the public reaction to the project threatens the reliability of the survey responses,” Walker said. “The reliability of the study as a whole has been compromised.”

You see, internet? This is why we can’t have nice things – nice, big, hard, bulging veiny-things. Unless we join Tinder.

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