The Mile-High Club: You’re Doing It Wrong

Some people love mixing the thrill of sex with the added thrill of risk-taking. Calico isn’t one of those people — although she can understand, to some extent at least, the thrill that comes with the possibility of getting caught in the act. She’s always figured that chance of getting caught was part of the appeal of joining the Mile-High Club and turning the airplane’s bathroom into a semi-private pleasure room.

But what are we supposed to make of people who have sex on planes right there in the open, without ever leaving their assigned seats? Are they part of a new breed of Mile-High members? Is there a hierarchy in the Club which rewards people in proportion to how bold their in-flight sex acts are? Or are people just getting more obnoxious over time?

Read all about it in Calico’s latest post, “The Mile High Club: You’re Doing It Wrong”

by Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Porn For Women

When it comes to thrill-seeking, I’ve never done much in the context of my sex life. This is not to say I’ve never had thrilling sex, just that I don’t have to attempt the Hill position while balancing on a tightrope to get off.

The one exception to this has been my willingness to have sex in circumstances where there’s a chance – a small chance, mind you – of getting caught in the act.

Along those lines, I’ve had plenty of sex which had to be quiet, lest a roommate, parent or security guard might barge in to investigate the moans, gasps and giggles. What I haven’t done – and can’t see myself doing any time soon – is have sex in circumstances where being caught is essentially guaranteed.

Pro Tip: When the Odds Are 1:1, That’s Not A “Risk,” It’s A Certainty

I’ve always figured this was part of the appeal of joining the so-called Mile-High Club, the disjointed community of air travelers who have chosen to entertain themselves with something far more engaging than the airline’s selection of in-flight magazines.

While I’ve never done it, my assumption has always been that the key to having sex on a plane without drawing too much attention from the flight crew, fellow passengers or law enforcement personnel is in pulling off the part in which me and partner slip into he restroom without anyone realizing two people went in.

Another way to go, evidently, is to simply fuck right there in your assigned seats – while your fellow passengers film your tryst on their smartphone, naturally, because that’s just where we are as a species these days. Seriously, we will try to shoot pictures and/or video of anything on our phones these days, no matter how many teeth it has.

I’m not an expert on risk assessment or anything, but even I know if there’s a 100% chance of something happening (like, I don’t know, your fellow passengers noticing you’re fucking in the middle of a flight to Mexico?) that’s not a risk, it’s an eventuality.

Maybe The Mile-High Club Has Different Tiers?

Since I’ve already copped to the fact I’m not a member of the Mile-High Club, I can’t very well claim to understand its by-laws. For all I know, it’s considered cliché and not sufficiently adventurous (or excessively unhygienic) to have sex in the bathroom.

Then again, maybe it’s a time-of-year thing. If so, that could explain why the folks who were boning on the flight to Mexico have a pair of predecessors whose in-flight dalliances happened almost exactly a year earlier, on a June 2017 flight from Manchester to Ibiza.

Judging by the eyewitness accounts, the Manchester-to-Ibiza pair was even less shy than the couple on the flight to Mexico.

“I heard them talking about [having sex] but I thought they were joking,” said Kieran Williams, a young fellow from Lancashire who was on the flight. “The guy was shouting, ‘Anyone got a jelly?’”

In this context, a “jelly” refers to a condom – although, it should be noted, some Brits use the term to refer to things like the tranquilizer Temazepam, so maybe the guy was just a white-knuckle flyer.

“We all laughed but then ten minutes later they actually did it.”

Hmm. So much for my Temazepam-request theory.

“They seemed so drunk, they brought a lot of attention to themselves,” Williams added. “You could see the girl taking off her pants and he pulled his trousers off. She started riding him.”

I think we all know where this is going next, right?

“I had to get my phone out,” Williams explained. “I have never seen anything like that.”

Of course he “had to” get his phone out – I mean, what else is he supposed to do? Narc on them to the flight attendants? Mind his own business? Please, this is 2018 – when someone starts having sex in plain (or perhaps, in this context, ‘plane’ view) view, you are compelled to film them in the act.

The good news, I suppose, is there were no alligators on the flight…