Maybe I Like The Sound of Daylight Savings Time, After All
Throughout her life as an Arizonan, Calico has enjoyed listening to people in other parts of the country bitch about Daylight Savings time, having to adjust their clocks and all the confusion that surrounds the process of “springing forward” and “falling back.”
In all those years, none of the many different rationales for the existence of Daylight Savings time have really stood out as being great reasons for the practice to continue, let alone made Calico feel like she was missing out on anything by living in an area unaffected by it all.
This week, however, Calico stumbled across an article that raised a point about Daylight Savings that never occurred to her – an idea for what people can do with the ‘extra’ hour presented by the fall shift in our clocks.
What has piqued Calico’s Daylight Savings curiosity? Does it have anything to do with farming? Why had nobody ever told her that Hawaii doesn’t pay attention to Daylight Savings, either? Get the scoop in Calico’s latest post, “Maybe I Like The Sound of Daylight Savings Time, After All”
by Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Award-winning porn movies for discerning adults
As a resident of Arizona, I experience a highly specific, quite narrow and completely ridiculous sort of smugness twice a year, once in March and once around now. The source of my absurd biannual smugness? Daylight savings time. More to the point, it’s the fact that as an Arizonan I don’t have to touch my clock at all when others around country are “springing forward” or “falling back.”
Like I said, it’s a truly dumb thing to feel smug about, in part because it’s purely happenstance-based smugness. I literally do nothing about Daylight Savings, other than try to remember it means that some of the shows I watch will start an hour later or earlier than usual, if indeed there are any shows I still watch on broadcast TV, as opposed to streaming them online whenever I’d like.
An Extra Hour on the Clock = An Extra Hour on the Cock?
I don’t really have a horse in the Daylight Savings race – and when I read about the various reasons it exists in the first place, even where they do sound valid they don’t have much relevance to me. None of them except this one, that is: Apparently, Daylight Savings presents a good excuse to have sex.
“When I first realized that Daylight Saving Time would happen this weekend, I was crushed,” writes Molly Longman for Refinery29. “I didn’t want it to get dark any earlier. And I wholeheartedly agreed with Twitter — the last thing we needed was another hour of 2020. But then I had an idea: Why not spend those 60 minutes on an earth-shaking, toe-curling hookup? Or even a rousing, intense, solo sex session?”
Now that’s a good reason for Daylight Savings! Or it’s a good thing to do with your ‘extra’ hour, at least, if you’re going to be forced to endure one whether you like it or not.
The rest of the post is basically a list of sexual advice cliches – “take it slow,” engage in role play, try a new position, maybe don’t call out the size of his beer belly so much during foreplay, that sort of thing – but the real point is, if you must set your clock ahead an hour, you might as well fill the added hour of daylight with something (and someone) you want to do, rather than simply spending an additional hour of daylight bemoaning the unavoidable fact it’s still 2020, the year that feels like a century unto itself.
My Husband Asks: Can Our “Yes, No, Maybe” List Also Have an “Oh, HELL No!” Category?
I have an idea of my own to add to the suggestions offered by Longman’s experts. And while I can’t claim to be an expert on anything, I’m pretty good at pretending to think I’m an expert on everything. So, if you average it out, that means the advice below probably won’t kill you if you try to follow it in practice.
One of the suggestions in Longman’s article is to “make a list” – specifically, a “Yes, No, Maybe” list of sex acts, with examples listed like pegging, threesomes and watching porn together. I think this is a swell idea, but one that has room for improvement.
Among other things, in addition to sex acts, I think the Yes, No, Maybe list should get more granular and specific by introducing a little “where” to go with its “what.” In other words, don’t just get your partner to say Yes, No or Maybe to the idea of pegging him with a strap-on dildo; get him to be specific about locations in which he thinks this particular sex act would be appropriate, versus those he thinks would be unacceptable.
For example, let’s say your partner says yes, he’d gladly try pegging, but you left open the question of where the pegging would take place. In that case, I think your Yes, No, Maybe list needs to get very specific, just to avoid any potential misunderstandings.
Is he willing to be pegged in a public park at lunchtime? Maybe getting pegged in the middle of Times Square during rush hour is more his thing? Would he like to visit his alma mater and get pegged at the 50-yard line during the big annual homecoming game? As you can see, the possibilities are endless!
No matter how you slice it, the more specific the Yes, No, Maybe list, the lower the chance of future misunderstandings – and, possibly, the lower the chance of being dragged out of Times Square in handcuffs, depending on your partner’s answer to the questions above.
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