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Is That The Canada CN Tower In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Happy To See Us?

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Calico is the first to admit she doesn’t know much about Canada. In fact, outside of a couple visits to Montreal and Toronto and two long drives down the ALCAN Highway, Calico’s experience with Canada is limited to maple syrup consumption, a few Rush-obsessed male friends in high school and watching Kids in the Hall.

Luckily for Calico, more Canada-knowledge is always just a click away on the internet. And where did Calico’s Canada click take her this week? Why, to a news story about a sex doll brothel which is soon to open up in Toronto, of course.

What does Calico make of sex doll brothels arriving in the Great White North? Find out in her latest post, “Is That The Canada CN Tower In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Happy To See Us?”

 

by Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Porn for Women and Couples

As I’d guess is the case with most Americans, there is a great deal more I don’t know about Canada than there is stuff I know about Canada.

In fact, my ignorance of Canada is so comprehensive, I can list everything I know about the country in a brief series of bullet points:

  • Everywhere I’ve visited there (a designation which only encompasses Montreal, Toronto and parts of the country which abut the ALCAN Highway) has been quite beautiful.
  • A lot of Canadians really like hockey.
  • Maple syrup…. So much maple syrup.
  • Their Rush, while admittedly not entirely my cup of tea, still is vastly superior to our Rush.

As you can see, that’s not much Canada-knowledge. On the bright side, this means each new fact I learn about Canada represents a substantial growth in my Great White North knowledge base.

I’m Pleased To Report A 25% Increase In My Canada  Knowledge

Earlier today, I learned a new fact about Canada by reading a news story on the Internet – which means in a single click, I achieved an impressive 25% boost to my overall Canada-knowledge!

What I learned wasn’t exactly an essential cultural, historical or geographical fact, but I still found it interesting: A “sex doll brothel” is opening in Toronto.

I’ll admit, I was confused at first glance. Who would build a brothel expecting dolls to show up and hire sex workers? I thought to myself.

But then it dawned on me (well, OK – then I scrolled down): This is a brothel in which the sex workers are sex dolls.

Clearly, in addition to needing an education on Canada, I may also be a bit confused as to how brothels work. Oh well, that’s why newspapers and news sites exist, right? Not to educate me about Canada and brothels, I mean, but generally to inform us all.

Honestly, I Might Prefer Bumping Into A Single Person

One thing I learned about sex doll brothels in this article (or about this sex doll brothel, at least) is that they aren’t likely to create very many jobs for humans.

Claire Lee, who is identified as the marketing director of the Aura Dolls brothel, said customers will interact only with dolls when they visit the brothel.

“They put their payment down on the counter and they go straight to their room,” Lee said. “They’ll probably not bump into a single person.”

You know, now that she mentions it, I hope Aura’s customers won’t bump into any married persons, either.

“We don’t have staff there, just a camera,” Lee added. “The payment is taken at the beginning, you go into the room, do your time and just leave.”

Wait, wait, wait – what do you mean “just a camera”? And what’s all this about ‘doing’ my time?

Frankly, this is starting to sound less like a brothel and more like a prison for sex dolls wherein the warden charges people for the service of filming their conjugal visits.

Let’s Hear More About This “Three-Step Routine”

Relating additional details which I think are supposed to put readers at ease, City News further reports that the company running the brothel “also encourages the use of lube and condoms and said the dolls will be cleaned after each customer using a three-step routine to get them as clean as possible.”

Is it just me, or does a three-step routine sound like it might be insufficient to disinfect a silicon sex doll? I’m not saying it is insufficient, just that before I put my faith in its efficacy, I’d want to know more about the three steps involved. For example, does one or more of these steps involve the use of fire?

The more I think about it, maybe I didn’t learn something new about Canada in reading this article, so much as I came away with more questions than ever about used erotica.

Calico Rudasil
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Calico Rudasil

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original porn site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.
Calico’s work has appeared under various pen names in adult industry trade journals and on several mainstream op-ed portals, including the Huffington Post.
Calico Rudasil
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Calico Rudasil

Written by Calico Rudasil

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original porn site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.
Calico’s work has appeared under various pen names in adult industry trade journals and on several mainstream op-ed portals, including the Huffington Post.

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