Learning Masturbation From Porn

by Lola Lovely at Sssh.com Porn For Women

I vaguely remember when I first started to feel things ‘down there’ as a kid. At night I would rub myself against my pillow, not knowing what was happening, only that it felt good. And sometimes if I rub long enough I get an explosion of feelings down there.

I was always scared that someone would walk in on me rubbing myself against my pillow in my dark room at night. As if they would see the pleasure on my face and feel my shame. Because I honestly didn’t know what was happening. What is it about deriving pleasure from oneself that seems just so ‘wrong’? Where do we learn this?

Anyway, I was also intensely curious as a child about sex and the human body. I remember as a kid I would draw naked women – mainly because I didn’t know what a naked man looked like. My drawings were crude, boobs, ‘V’ shapes where the vagina lay. Nothing fancy. But I was soo curious and soo ashamed of my drawings.

I would sneakily rent soft porn movies. You saw nothing, but I got to see boobs at the very least. But it was never enough. The first time I saw a real porn I saw a woman masturbating. By this time, I was familiar with the word masturbation thanks to my male classmates who were ever willing to share.

“So this is how you masturbate,” I thought to myself.

Apparently masturbation involved a series of actions involving vigorous rubbing of the vagina (looked like the whole vagina, and not just the clit), some slapping of said vagina, some intense fingering (which seemed to drive the porn actresses wild), and more vigorous rubbing after which she came like a rockstar!

I was doing it wrong.

There is a certain angle I like to rub my clit, because that area is very sensitive for me. So I must rub it very lightly – almost like I were scratching my clitoris. I do this fast enough and eventually I will orgasm. But oh how wrong I was.

That wasn’t masturbation. I don’t know what that was. Even if it did get me off, the lady in the porn video was doing it differently.

So I tried doing it her way. I opened my leg wide, inserted a finger into my vagina, poked around a little, vigorously rubbed my clit and… nothing. I didn’t cum. Not even close. Honest to god I thought that I was just doing it wrong. So then began the experimentation phase where I tried to orgasm like the women in porn. On some level I knew the video was fake, but on another level it somehow didn’t occur to me that even the masturbation was fake.

Even when I had sex I would try and imitate the women in porn. It’s so silly, that when I think back, I wonder what I was thinking. Then I read articles about how men are so ‘silly’ for believing that porn is real and I think to myself, “They’re not the only ones fooled.”

I mean, it’s great that now we’re on to this and are teaching real sex to men (and women). But this is why we need some more real sex videos. Real sex. Not fake ones. I know it will suck cuz real sex is boring and involves grunting and weird faces. But as a teenager, that would’ve really helped me or at the very least given my vagina a break from all the slapping I was inflicting it! Poor thing.