Exploring Yourself

As a woman who has studied sexuality in university and who still only coming into her own now, there’s one thing I would like to stress, and that is the importance of exploring oneself. Yes, I could mean exploring one’s personality, likes and dislikes, passions, etc., but for the purpose of this post, I would like to concentrate mainly of the physical aspect of things. Female masturbation is something that was, for a long and sad period of our history, taboo to talk about, controversial and mostly completely ignored. Even today, it takes awhile for girls to open to to each other and talk about what they do behind closed doors…if they open up at all that is. I’m not here to preach about talking about masturbation, because, although I would say that it is a good idea for women to open up and talk about it out loud, it is not my main concern. what is a main concern is the fact that many women are prudish even when it comes to their own bodies and have no idea about that hidden, dark and pleasurable side of themselves. so here is a little list I made up about ways to explore yourself!

Porn: Porn is everywhere these days… on the internet, on billboard ads (so it seems sometimes), in magazines (think about the dirty stories in Cosmo), and for those lucky enough to have cable or satellite, on TV. Porn, much like the female libido, has a dark history or being denied and accused of corruption. And although some people still get uncomfortable  and squeamish when it is mentioned, porn plays a valuable part in sexually liberating our society. What better way than to discover new positions, scenarios and fantasies than to watch some porn? Pornography allows us to explore our own fantasies and dark desires without the risk of real life action. I could watch some lesbian porn and decided that i don’t like it and that it does nothing to turn me on but on the other hand I might discover that it is something that I find highly arousing and that perhaps, I too, would like to try it out. Beside finding ones likes and dislikes, it can also serve as a tool to re-ignite a stale sex life between a couple and creating a new way to bond by watching it together. Porn used to have a bad reputation but that is speedily being replaced by one of recognition and acceptance. I can still recall the first time my friends and I ever got the guts to watch the late night, scramble, porn channel at one of our sleepovers. Although we giggled and screamed the whole time we watched it, feigning disgust even, it was still a learning experience for us, this was the first time we actually got to see what sex was about rather than it being some abstract concept that our teachers and school nurse talked to us about.

Toys: The sex toy industry is ever developing new ways to have fun and get in touch with ourselves. With everything from vibrators, dildos, strapons, creams, and even fleshlights for men, it is an industry that will never go broke. If you’re not so keen on burrowing your own fingers inside of yourself, then you might find that a dildo or vibrator will do just the trick. What is also so great about toys is the fact that they allow you to learn about yourself. You can buy a g-spot stimulating toy to find out for yourself if the g-spot really does exist. You can buy a sound triggered vibrator to enjoy your music on a whole other level. In short there’s a variety of toys out there for everyone. If you are too shy to go into a sex shop, which can be intimidating although there are many that maintain a highly professional look and service, than you can always go online and order one discreetly.

Masturbation: Sometimes using a toy is just a little too intimidating. If that’s the case then there are plenty of other ways to enjoy learning about one’s sexual inclinations. You can light some candles, lie down, close your eyes and let your fingers glide down slowly to do their own exploring. You can also use the faucet on the bathtub to experience a warm or cold pressure on your clitoris that is sure to leave you more relaxed than any bath ever has. There are a number of possibilities and ways to explore your nether regions, it only takes a little bit of time and intent. Kind of linked to masturbation is the recommendation for a woman to sit with her legs apart and to place a mirror in between her legs so that she can explore her vagina in full. This is good not only to see what we actually look like down there but also to be able to associate the feelings of pleasure with actual parts.

Talking: Although openly discussing masturbatory techniques and tricks that we do in bed is not for everyone, it does have its advantages. Women all have their own tricks and it is very surprising at first to learn that each has their own technique to masturbate or get off with their partner. Through conversations with my friends, I have gained more and more awe at the beauty and complexity of the female body. what works for some of my friends doesn’t work for me and yet sometimes it does, and in ways that I’ve never dreamed of.

It is only through learning about our own bodies, likes, dislikes and erogenous zones that we are able to fully appreciate sex and our bodies. Think about how much better sex is when you tell your lover how fast, slow, hard to go and now think about how much better it will be when you are able to guide him or her to do exactly what feels great. There’s a chance that you already know all about yourself but if you don’t, then I definatly recommend to start learning. No one should know your body better than you do!