By Calico Rudasill at Sssh.com Porn For Women
As we all laugh until sugary milk comes out our noses over Tony the Tiger’s twitter getting inundated with ‘furry porn,’ let’s take a moment to consider why Tony might be a little sensitive about being associated with pornographic depictions.
Tony, you see, is no stranger to being co-opted in an erotic context. In fact, he’s even had a brush (albeit by proxy) with the frightening vagueness of obscenity law in the past.
Watch the back story here….
The Infamous “Act Of Intercourse”
Back in 2009, a man named Andrew Holland was charged with two counts of violating the Criminal Justice and Immigration Act of 2008, in connection with two images found on his computer. One image was from the Body Modification Extreme Pain Olympics, while the other depicted “an act of intercourse with a live animal.”
Making matters more bizarre (and for the human involved in the intercourse, presumably), the live animal in question was a tiger.
Or was it?
As it turned out, much to the embarrassment of the authorities who prosecuted Holland, the “tiger” in the image (which was actually a still captured from a video) was, in fact, a man made to look somewhat like a tiger via Photoshop.
In the video from which the still image was taken, at the end of the scene, the man-tiger turns to the camera and says “That’s grrreat!” and “Beats doing Frosties ads for a living.”
Needless to say, the charges against Holland were dropped, because while having sex with a man disguised as a tiger might be a strange way to spend your Friday night, it’s not exactly “an act of intercourse with a live animal.”
You Can’t Un-Ring That Bell
While Holland being acquitted was a good thing (albeit a thing which came far too late for the incident not to ruin his life), from Tony’s perspective, a perverse seed had been planted in the minds of Internet users. Never again would he be seen as a jovial, if somewhat incongruous, cereal pushing spokes-tiger, because now, like it or not, he was a pornstar by proxy.
While it might not seem like a big deal to you or me for a fictitious tiger’s family-friendly brand to be sullied in this way, it’s easy for us to say, because none of us is a fictitious tiger.
Plus, we can’t know for sure what Tony’s future holds. What if his frosted flaky bosses decide Tony’s image has been so tarnished by the UK incident they decide to have a cartoon squirrel take over for him? We’ve all heard how hard it is for ex-pornstars to find mainstream jobs after the end of their performing career; just imagine how hard it would be for someone who is already a mainstream star to recover from being associated with “extreme” porn!
I’ll bet this is why Tony is so concerned with being tweeted furry porn; sure, he doesn’t want his fans to be exposed to the stuff, but more than that, he’s worried he’ll accidentally ‘favorite’ something which leads to being handed a pink slip, followed by a life of pain in which he struggles to find acting work, at best making a cameo appearance in a future reboot of “The Jungle Book.”
Has The Die Already Been Cast?
While Tony has now blocked quite a lot of his followers over the NSFW tweets he had been receiving, the damage may already be done, in part because Tony was an object of furry lust long before Twitter was a thing.
Honestly, I feel bad for Tony – and I’m sorry I don’t have better words with which to console him, or at least better advice for how to approach his post-porn-sullied life.
Oh well; if all else fails, he can always find God and hopefully even earn a few bones (frosted or otherwise) preaching about the perils of porn.
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