BDSM Humor – Findom: She’s Doing It Wrong

BDSM Humor – Findom: She’s Doing It Wrong

Normally, the last thing Calico is interested in doing is telling other people how to run their own sex lives, or trying to impose “sex rules” on them. But some words do have pretty specific meanings — and some kinks DO come with certain rules, widely understood by the community of practitioners who are into those kinks.

For instance, if you’re into being spanked, this doesn’t mean it’s “anything goes” in terms of the implements used to spank you. Your partner can’t just merrily grab an ironwood club and go to town on your butt cheeks – there needs to be an agreement there.

This is this spirit in which Calico offers her latest post. It’s not designed to discourage people from engaging in any sort of sex act, nor is it a critique of the kink involved. Calico simply wants readers to understand that when the delve into this particular form of sex play, there are indeed some fundamental rules one needs to follow — one of which is that you never leave your submissive tied to a chair as you leave the house with his wallet and credit cards.

What the hell am I talking about? Find out in Calico’s new post: “Findom: She’s Doing It Wrong.”

by Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com, Sssh.com Erotic Movies For Women and Couples

Read On…

While I’ve worked with and written about a wide variety of adult content categories and sexual kinks over the last 23 years, I can’t (and don’t) claim to be an “expert” in any of them, or the underlying sexual proclivities they are designed to satisfy.

That said, clearly there are certain category delineations both in porn and the broader world of sex which are so obvious, even a person who has only casual familiarity with what the terms mean can tell the difference. Nobody is about to confuse a “twink” for a “bear,” for example. 

I generally stay away from saying much about porn genres, niches, themes and tropes with which I’m unfamiliar, but today I’m making an exception, because as little as I admittedly know about the porn genre at hand, I’m pretty sure this person is doing it wrong.

Does this Mean VISA is my Dom?

As I understand it, mostly from reading explanations by people who are into it, “Findom” – short for “financial domination” – involves subs voluntarily giving money to their dom/domme as an “act of ultimate submission” as the Urban Dictionary puts it, with money being the “ultimate representation of power in our modern society.”

“The arousal factor comes from the thought of the domme invading the personal space that is your finances,” explains ‘Steve’, a sub interviewed for the Independent piece linked above. “People measure their self-worth with their money. Financial domination scoops up this notion of human beings and weaponizes it as something kinky. It’s intimacy, in a very capitalistic and masochistic way.”

This seems simple enough to understand – although it remains thoroughly rejected as a potential kink for us to explore by my husband. That living wet blanked asserts that it would be “patently ludicrous” for either of us to give the other money as part of our sex-play (or in any other context), on the basis that we have shared bank accounts to begin with, so in effect we’d each simply be giving ourselves our own money. 

(Yeah, trust me, I know: He’s no fun at parties, either.)

Meanwhile, in Newark ….

Who could possibly be messing up such a straightforward kink, you ask? Her name is Ann Marie Bessie Eller.

According to the Newark Advocate, Eller has been “sentenced to community control” (whatever that means) after she was found guilty of “robbing a man who allegedly let her tie him up anticipating sex.”

“She tied him up to the futon in the bedroom, allegedly to have sex, and then, once she had him tied up, stole three firearms and his cell phone, which also held his bank card,” the complaint against Eller states. 

See what I mean? She’s doing it wrong.

In addition to finding herself in jail, since Eller chose to explore findom with her boyfriend, evidently in the process forgetting to tell him the part where giving her his money is part of it, she now finds herself both in trouble with the law and minus one boyfriend.

You might be wondering, if she tied him up and left, how and when was her ex discovered and freed? This is where the story gets into some real James Bond shit.

“He was able to get free by using a lighter to burn the rope and then cut it the remainder of the way. He then called police.”

While I think we can all agree this fellow doesn’t have the greatest judgment when it comes to his selection of partners, you must admit he sounds like a resourceful character. Either that, or in addition to doing findom wrong, Ann Marie Bessie Eller is also not particularly accomplished when it comes to rope bondage.

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