Bad Dating Experiences Aren’t Rare Enough to be “Weird News” (Except Maybe the Ashes Thing)

Bad Dating Experiences Aren’t Rare Enough to be “Weird News” (Except Maybe the Ashes Thing)

As a connoisseur of the genre, Calico has very high standards for what she considers “weird news.” An alligator crossing the road in Florida? That’s not weird; it’s absolutely to be expected in a place as chockful of gators as the Sunshine State.

Lately, Calico has noticed an awful lot of not-so-strange stories of the “bad first date” variety cropping up in her weird news feed, some of which sound pretty unpleasant, but hardly qualify as strange. There’s nothing remotely unusual about men being rude or inconsiderate on a first date, after all, whether it manifests in talking about themselves incessantly, telling unlikely stories of past athletic glory, or spending the whole time eyeing women other than their date.

One of these bad date stories does stand out as a worthy inclusion in the weird news section, however, because the man at the center of it managed to distinguish himself from his more mundane peers. We’re not talking about flirting with the waitress, or getting huffy about being asked to pick up the tab, we’re talking about legit norm-shattering of the kind that probably eliminates the possibility of a second date — unless the woman involved is pretty strange, herself.

What sort of behavior made this fellow stand out among the countless tales of first date woe? Would he have flirted with the waitress, had one been present? Is it ever NOT strange to bring your mother on a date?  

Get the scoop in Calico’s new post, “Bad Dating Experience Aren’t Rare Enough to be ‘Weird News’ (Except Maybe the Ashes Thing)”

– Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com at sssh,com erotic entertainment movies and more

As I’ve noted before, I’m a big fan of ‘weird news’ stories. But, just as I’m often disappointed by so-called “fortune cookies” that offer flattery or philosophy rather than prognostication, I’m also frequently let down by what the editors of “weird” news sections consider to be worthy of that adjective.

Prince Charles being amused by Boris Johnson’s inability to control his umbrella is kinda cute, but it’s not particularly weird, is it? And while it makes my feet tingle with phobic anxiety to look at, I’m not sure there’s anything that strange about a tall building having a glass bottom viewing deck.

Maybe I Just Have a Thing for Weird Foods?

Admittedly, I’m a little inconsistent with my weird news standards. There’s nothing that unusual about people making world-record-size foods, for example, but for some reason I’m happy to read weird news stories about someone baking up an enormous Oreo.

Come to think of it, maybe I just have a thing for weird food stories, since I also cracked a big smile reading about Ben Boyles’ impressively bad idea of eating at Chick-fil-A for 153 days in a row. Granted, as that sort of weird food news goes, Ben still has a long way to go before he’ll catch up with Don Gorske marking the consumption of his 32,340th Big Mac – unless of course Ben has been eating around 211 chicken sandwiches per visit to Chick-fil-A.

Meanwhile, I’m not sure anyone is planning to the sheepshead fish with very human-looking teeth that was recently caught in North Carolina. Who knows, though; maybe if McDonalds made a filet-o-fish out of it, they could interest Mr. Gorske in eating tens of thousands of them.

The Only Weird Dating Thing Would Be if They Went on a Second Date

Lately, I’ve noticed a lot of rather mundane “bad date” stories showing up in my weird news feed, which is especially disappointing coming from the British media – mostly because I find it hard to believe that a day goes by in my ancestral homeland on which nothing much, much stranger happens than a woman’s date flirting with the waitress.

Is it unpleasant and off-putting to have your date flirt with the waitress, particularly on a first date? I’m sure it is. Is it “weird,” though? I certainly don’t think it’s as weird as a first date I had back in college, during which my date told me that his father was not just a space alien, but THE space alien whose craft had crashed in Roswell, New Mexico back in 1947. (Perhaps unsurprisingly, I picked up the tab for dinner on that date.)

Also, why in the hell is it “weird news” when a man’s date asks him to split the cost of the Uber she took to meet him on the date? Whatever you might think of that request, it’s not weird, especially by the standards of the kind of thing often covered by UK tabloids. Weird would be if she texted him the next day to say “Hey, I had fun on our date last night, but I think I’m going to marry this pirate ghost I met in the Uber on my way home.” 

(Of course, if that did happen, she’d probably just get divorced from the ghost within a year or two. It’s just so hard to make those interdimensional relationships work!)

OK, I Must Admit – THIS Date Does Sound a Little Weird

To be fair, one of the dating-related weird news stories I’ve come across lately is substantially stranger than the others. I’m speaking, of course, of the man who brought his deceased mother’s ashes on a first date.

“She invited him to a barbecue at her house and things started off badly as he arrived late, and when he arrived he explained how he drove past several times and almost turned around to go home,” reports The Mirror. “Then he wouldn’t stop talking about every inch of family drama, brought extra food around for himself that he didn’t share, then brought out a vial full of ashes – which he explained was his late mother.”

On the bright side, there’s no indication he sprinkled any of those ashes on a piece of barbecued chicken to give it a more macabre flavor. Maybe he’s saving that for their second date – and/or his next bowl of sheepshead fish soup.

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