Sex Humor – "Turmeric Daddy" Has A Nice Ring To It

Until recently, Calico was under the impression that “sugar dating” and “sugar relationships” all followed the same basic pattern: Rich older person buys stuff for younger, poorer, typically attractive person in exchange for sex. As it turns out though, there’s more to sugar relationships than meets the crotch.

According to sociologist Maren Scull, there are seven different types of sugar relationship, ranging from “sugar prostitution” to “pragmatic love,” each with its own, distinct characteristics. All told, these categories suggest that sugar relationships are a lot more complicated than Calico had assumed — and than the depiction of sugar relationships in popular culture suggest.

Still, there’s something that bothers Calico about Scull’s sugar dating categories. It’s not how he describes or defines these categories, but simply a question of branding. If we want people to remember and consider these various types of sugar dating, Calico believes a fundamental re-branding of the various types of sugar dating is in order, using terminology which is catchy, memorable and worthy of the phenomenon being described.

Read all about it in Calico’s latest post, “‘Turmeric Daddy’ Has A Nice Ring To It”

By Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Erotic Movies and Entertainment for Women and Couples

As I begin to type this post, I want to make something perfectly clear, mostly for my husband’s benefit: Just about everything I know about “sugar babies,” “sugar daddies” and the entire “sugar dating” phenomenon I learned in doing research for this post.

In other words, honey please don’t freak out about the recent search history on our shared PC, because I promise I wasn’t out there looking for a richer, better looking, more attentive man. (I will admit though, that it doesn’t seem like such a terrible idea after typing the phrase “richer, better looking, more attentive man.” I am human, after all.)

Anyway, if you’re like me, you may have assumed to this point that sugar relationships are all about people, in effect, paying for sex – not in a way which constitutes prostitution, but in a way which does more-than-kinda resemble prostitution.

A recent article in the journal Sociological Perspectives has me rethinking sugar dating, making me realize there’s more nuance here than “old rich person buys young hot person stuff, gets laid in return.”

Seven Kinds of Sugar Dating

“Drawing from 48 in-depth interviews with women in the United States who have been in sugar relationships, I adopt a connected lives approach to explore the structure of these arrangements and to assess the extent to which they are a form of prostitution,” writes Maren Scull, the article’s author. “Overall, I found that, although there is a dominant, subcultural relationship script that serves as a blueprint for sugar arrangements, they comprise their own unique relational package and take a variety of forms when enacted on an interpersonal level.” 

What are the different forms of sugar dating, you ask?

“Specifically, I identified seven types of sugar relationships, only one of which can be considered prostitution,” Scull continues. “These included sugar prostitution, compensated dating, compensated companionship, sugar dating, sugar friendships, sugar friendships with benefits, and pragmatic love.”

Let me guess: “sugar prostitution” is the kind that involves prostitution, right? (I’m just perceptive like that.)

This seems reasonable enough, at least in the article’s abstract. Let’s hear more details though, rather than rely on just a thumbnail sketch of Scull’s theory on sugar dating.

Wherein We Hear More Details

Scull’s full article is behind a paywall, but the various forms of sugar dating he identified are further detailed in a post on Phys.org. There, we learn that – yes indeed – sugar prostitution is a form of sugar dating that is “absent emotion and purely the exchange of gifts for sex” and “compensated dating,” involves “a monetary or material compensation for grabbing a coffee, a meal or attending a specific event together.”

One of Scull’s categories gets to keep the default term, “sugar dating.” That’s described as combining “the intertwined life of companionship with sex” – which, offhand, sounds kind of like a normal romantic relationship…? Maybe I’m missing something.

“In this case, most women receive an allowance on a weekly, monthly or as-needed basis. The sums could range from $200 to several thousands of dollars a month.”

Yeah, OK – that’s not a normal romantic relationship, because in those, we get money for groceries every so often, but certainly not thousands of dollars per month.

The other categories of sugar dating are broken down in that same Phys.org post, but due to my restless nature, crippling attention deficit disorder and tendency to lose interest in things other people say or write unless there are curse words involved, I’d like to move on to something of greater interest to me. Namely, I want to move on to the need to rethink the branding of this ‘sugar dating’ stuff.

“Compensated Companionship” Just Isn’t Catchy Enough

Maybe it’s because I’ve spent the last 20+ years around people who market and sell porn, but to me, it’s just not very compelling to stick the word “sugar” in front of a term like “friendship” and use that as a descriptor for a different kind of sugar dating. I also think the word “compensated” simply doesn’t have the kind of panache we need when identifying different types of sugared relationships.

Instead of “sugar prostitution,” I think we should call this form of sugar relationship “Jolly Rancher Dating.” Sugar has a connotation that’s too sweet to use in a prostitution context. Jolly Ranchers, on the other hand, have a regret-inducing tartness which seems a better match for buying someone a fancy lamp or pricey watch in exchange for the occasional blowjob.

Maybe I’m undervaluing the benefits of being my friend, but to me, “sugar friendship” doesn’t seem like that sweet a deal for the person doing the sugaring – which, by the way, isn’t necessarily a man. I’m friends with several “sugar mommas” who are quite happy with the boy toy musicians for whom they pay rent and buy guitars. 

How about “ginger friendship”? Ginger is good for you but looks kind of gnarly in its raw form – which, somehow, makes it seem like an appropriate means to refer to a kind of friendship for which one must provide compensation.

“Turmeric friendship” seems like a good substitute for “sugar friendships with sexual benefits,” mostly because I don’t know what “sugar friendships with sexual benefits” means – and I’m not sure what turmeric is either, other than something my older sister puts in the insta-pot when she’s making homemade chicken curry. Plus, according to WebMD, turmeric is “possibly safe when it is used as an enema.”

OK, so maybe the connection between turmeric enemas and sugar dating isn’t crystal clear – but I think we can all at least agree a “possibly safe” turmeric enema is something you probably shouldn’t spring on your sugar baby in the middle of your first date.

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