Everybody knows that many of the scenarios we see in porn movies are fantasies, things which rarely, if ever, occur in real life. I mean, nobody orders a pizza then fucks the pizza boy while the pie gets cold sitting on the counter. And nobody fucks their plumber when he comes out to fix the bathroom sink… right? Well….
As reported by the British tabloid The Sun, a plumber in England was caught on camera recently, having sex with a married woman while his customer was away on holiday. There’s a slight twist on the old porn plumber cliche though; the married woman in question wasn’t his customer’s wife, but the wife of a friend of his customer.
It’s a sad story, really, one involving infidelity, violated trust, deeply questionable customer service, a defiled couch and — perhaps most shocking of all — missing beer.
Read all about it in Calico’s latest post, “Porn’s Lonely Housewife/Horny Plumber Cliché Comes to Life.
– Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Erotic Entertainment For Women
While they’re truly not all that common in porn, certain porn clichés have made such an impression on people that they’re permanently associated with porn as a creative form.
I’m talking about things like wah-wah guitar riffs associated with 70s porn that gave rise to the phrase “bom chicka wah wah” meaning what it does today, the tried and true ‘pool boy gets a special thank you from the MILF’ scenario and – of course – the horny plumber services the lonely housewife cliché.
But we all know these fantasy situations never play out in real life, right?
Well….
No, No, No – It’s Supposed to be the CUSTOMER’s Wife, Dude
Leave it to a British tabloid to dig up evidence of a porn cliché leaping off the screen and manifesting in real life – or as real as life can seem when its events are retold by a British tabloid, at least.
“GETTING HIS U-BEND AWAY Randy plumber caught on camera having sex with another man’s wife in customer’s lounge” screams the headline of a recent report by The Sun.
As the story goes, a plumber named Mike Wilson had been hired to do some work in a bathroom owned by another Mike, this one with the last name Williams, while Williams, his wife and kids were all away on holiday.
If you’re an eagle-eyed reader like me, you’ll note that since Williams was on holiday with his wife, it can’t have been his wife Mike Wilson hooked up with while the Williams family was away. What happened was that Williams, due to security cameras installed at his house, watched Wilson hook up with another guy’s wife – a guy who happens to be a friend of Williams’.
“Sorry mate but think you need to see this,” Williams texted his friend after returning from vacation and seeing the footage. “Your wife’s been shagging mike wilson in my house on 26/9/19 around 7.11pm she arrived and left with him later.”
‘Sorry mate,’ indeed!
A Violation of Trust – and of a Couch
While Williams’ unidentified pal seems like the primary victim here, Williams’ objection was less about infidelity and more about the plumber fucking someone on his (evidently quite family-friendly) couch.
Understandably, Williams now doesn’t want to pay the £570 bill Wilson gave him. Williams also clearly never wants to sit on that couch again, seeing as how he has since given it away.
“I was speechless and thought how low can you get,” says Williams. “It’s disgusting to do that in someone else’s house where children live. My wife Becca was in tears because it was a complete abuse of trust. And there was no way we could let our kids sit on the sofa again so we gave it away.”
Williams’ bottom line: The plumber can take that bill and shove it right down his pop-up drain.
“Mike’s not getting a penny, not now we need a new sofa,” Williams said.
According to The Sun, local authorities are not taking this situation lying down – but it’s not the unsanctioned couch-defilement or trust-violating that has Wilson in potentially hot water. No, the possible criminal offense is something far more serious.
“Cumbria Police said officers are investigating an alleged theft of alcohol,” the Sun reports.
Really, Mike? You didn’t just engage in infidelity on your customers’ couch, you drank his beer, too?
And here I thought this story was just about a porn cliché come to life. Now I know, it’s really a story about a bona fide monster.
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