Where did my slutty girl go?

by Lola Lovely at Badoink Magazine. 

This is a purely opinion based piece. I’ve always wondered where the crazy, fuck-at-a-drop-of-a-pin passion goes when we’ve been living with someone for a while. I mean, I’m not saying that it happens to everyone, but let’s not kid ourselves, it happens. Where once I could hardly wait to rip my man’s clothes off, now I need a lot longer to get started. Friends and I have thrown around a couple of theories and here’s one that I feel I can identify with. It’s totally unscientific, so please go right ahead and throw some facts at me if you have to. Otherwise, let’s go deep in this totally made up opinion.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying that women are marathon runners and men are sprinters when it comes to matters of the bedroom? “Are you going to beat that old horse again Lola?” Why yes, yes I am 🙂 Hear me out.

When we start dating a man, he’s always on our mind. We don’t know what he’s up to. We don’t know where things are headed. There’s mystery, there’s danger and there’s oh so much sexual tension. Our systems are prepped and ready. If we have a date with him on Friday at 7pm, we’re planning it days ahead. Which means our marathon-like systems have already started running the race. Which makes it easy for us to pounce on him when we meet him. In fact we’ve been priming for it since the moment you agreed to meet on Friday! We’re like crock pots slowly cooking away at a low flame.

Fast forward to when you’ve been living together for a while. Suddenly, he’s in your life all the time. He’s there when you wake up, and when you go to sleep. He’s all up in there in the daily-life business that everyone has to go through. He’s seen you at your worst. He is weaved into your mind along with the bills, groceries and yoga class. It’s not that you don’t desire him anymore, it just means that you haven’t been thinking about doing naughty things to him all day long. So when his sprinter system gets turned on, you’re like a car engine on a winter morn! Cold and in need of a good warming up.

So if your man has been wondering, “How come when we first started dating you didn’t need as much foreplay?” That’s cuz when you were first dating, you already had foreplay, through the flirty texts, the calls, the sexy pics and by thinking about his fine ass.

Sounds dismal? Well, personally I believe that’s why date nights are so important. Date nights and shaving your legs for your man. Getting dressed up and wearing expensive and slutty as hell lingerie and of course, foreplay. Perhaps even scheduling a sex night. I know some people think scheduling sex isn’t romantic. But again, let’s not kid ourselves. When we go on a date, we know when we’re going to fuck someone. It’s not like it caught us by surprise, “Oh wow! I totally didn’t prepare for this with my sexy underpants and shaved legs!”

The only difference is that we’re not sure if that person is going to fuck us back. So yeah, there is that uncertainty but on the whole it’s almost like scheduling sex *wink wink nudge nudge*

So I’m curious if this theory of mine resonates with other women out there. Let me know what you think or if you think I am totally wrong!

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