Sexting, Anyone? Tricks and Tips

by Coleen Singer at Porn For Women and Couples

Over the past few years, it seems almost weekly that some scandalous news come out in the media about the rise of sexting (some claiming over half of adults have done it), some of the more dramatic public relation crash and burn events (hello Carlos Danger!), the horrible dangers to “the children” which is always the rallying cry of the repressed moral folks, and pretty much anything else one can image.  No surprise here!  The powerful combination of smart phones with cameras on them and dozens of ways to exchange naughty text and nudie pics is just ripe for a lot of horney people to take a walk on the sexy-time side in this new version of what used to be simple “phone sex” before there were smart phones. You just KNOW that during the first week that telephone service was introduced in the late 19th century, many merry Victorians had a naughty phone chat, much like the first sites on the internet in the 1990s were for porn.  Most people LOVE both kinky sex fun and mobile technology, so this is a match made in heaven.

sexting women


What Is Sexting?

Nobody seems to agree—and that’s a problem. We’re swept up an exciting new word that has the potential to help unseat politicians, but we’re not exactly sure what we’re talking about.

With every wave of technology, we accumulate new words. Upload. Delete. Google. These are fine, because their meanings are technically clear, and innocuous. But sexting is something one’s accused of—an act with some degree of shame accompanying it. It might be a lot of fun (I mean, right?), but you wouldn’t want to talk about doing it over Thanksgiving dinner.

Sexting can range from simple naughty SMS messages between people (attached boob and penis pix optional) to use of some of the online social media outlets like Snapchat and Twitter, But what actually defines “sexting -vs- texting”?

Sam Biddle summed it up nicely in a Gizmodo article on the topic:

There wasn’t any confusion about cybersex. Like phone sex before it, cybersex was the acting out of sexual performances via internet. Sexting is the same thing. If I tell you I want to make out via text, I’m not sexting. If I say I want to rip off your pants and push you up against a wall (in a sweet way!), I’m probably sexting. If you send me back a naked picture with a reply to that effect, now we’re both sexting.

If I just send you an unsolicited cell snapshot of my junk, I’m not a sexter—I’m a pervert. If you’re my girlfriend and I do it, I’m still not sexting—there’s no message, no action—just “Here, look at my blurry genitals.”

Some Safe Sexting Tips

Sexting is a fun and titillating way for couples to spice things up, and also an interesting way for some folks to have sex with strangers (Erica Jong called it “The Zipless Fuck” in her book, “Fear of Flying”). But, as we know that anything that goes digital in any format, these things just tend to stick around on the internet and our devices forever, and can in some instances, lead to embarrassing moments or difficulty running for public office or becoming a church deacon!

A few tips to keep your junk private and still have some sexting fun include:

  1. Make sure your mobile device has a strong password and firewall.  To my amazement, a lot of mobile phone users have literally no good security on their device.  A password of 1234 simply isn’t a good idea if you have a string of naughty texts and your partner’s penis pics onboard.  This even moreso holds true for any cloud service your phone is connected to as these can be hacked from any computer.  Kate Hudson, Jennifer Lawrence and other Hollywood celebs learned this the hard way.
  2. Avoid using social media for sexting.  When you put your junk in a corporate trunk like Twitter or Snapchat, this is just asking for trouble if they get hacked.  Although not a sexting service, per se, 32 million Ashleigh Madison members got a nasty surprise recently when their personal info, perversions, profiles and naughty pics were hacked on this “cheating” site.
  3. There’s an App For That!  One very safe way to have some sexting fun is a new app called Arousr.  What’s great about this one is that you have your sexting content safely tucked away in a secure app, keeping it off of the cloud services and your phone sms history and photo library.  Arousr also caters to bi-curious women seeking to take a test drive with another woman!
  4. A little housekeeping goes a long way.  As much as you really want to hang onto and cherish sexting sessions with your partner (and maybe even archive all of those penis pics for some reason), it’s generally wise to periodically delete those messages and remove the photos from your device and cloud service.
  5. Re-read before you send!  iPhones and Androids “autocorrect” functions are horribly unreliable and can quickly take the heat out of your sexting message and make you look like a moron.  And, always make sure you are sending to the right contact!
    Sexting Fail

Happy Sexting, Everyone!


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