Sex Humor: Reunited and it Feels… Well… NOT So Good, Really

Sex Humor: Reunited and it Feels… Well… NOT So Good, Really

When you hear certain songs, do you find yourself transported in time back to when you first heard them? Do silly love songs ever make you wistful for an old flame, even as they make you rip off your own ears to avoid hearing the impending chorus?

If so, you’re in good company — or you’re in Calico’s company, at least. It seems she can’t go a day without having a song remind her of an experience, or vice versa, having an experience dredge up an old song. Sometimes, including this week, all she has to do is read a headline and her brain is off and running, dredging up melodies and lyrics that fit what she’s just read.

Calico had just such an experience this week, after reading about an unfortunate pair of lovers whose choice of venue for physically expressing their affection for each other turned out to be… well, let’s just call it “suboptimal.”

Where did these star-crossed lovers hook up and what sort of issue has it caused for them? Will they get another chance to explore their mutual attraction, despite the trouble their first encounter caused them? Does the Williamsburg County Sheriff’s Office detention center offer conjugal visits? If it does, could this whole debacle have been avoided in the first place? If those questions have piqued your curiosity, satisfy that curiosity below by reading Calico’s latest screed: “Reunited and it Feels… Well… NOT So Good, Really.” 

– Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Porn For Women Movies

Read On…

While I don’t think I can legitimately claim to have ever practiced the textbook definition of “associative listening,” I long ago decided it was fine for me to establish my own definition of the term. As I define associative listening, it’s a form of ‘musical nostalgia’, for lack of a better term – a tendency for my brain to reflexively think about past events and experiences in my life when I listen to certain songs.

For example, whenever I hear “She’s Leaving Home” by the Beatles, I’m immediately transported back to my childhood, sitting in my parents’ living room listening to my older sister’s copy of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band on my father’s ancient stereo and crying my eyes out at the notion of my sister leaving home without a word. 

To be clear, she never did such a thing; it’s just then, as now, my imagination has tendency to run with things – as evidenced by the rest of this post, among other things.

Come to Think of It, Maybe Weird Al is Literally Living Rent-Free in My Head

My version of associative listening cuts the other way, too – by which I mean there have been countless times in my life when I experience, read, or see something that immediately causes a song to start playing in my head. In some cases, it’s not the original version of the song, but a spontaneous parody version that my brain cooks up on the spot. It’s a tendency an old friend of mine once refereed to as “a song for every occasion – and for every occasion a song.”

For example, someone will tell me they need to stop by an ATM on our way to a nightclub or an event where cash might come in handy, and my brain immediately begins playing “Dancing Queen” by ABBA – except the titular lyric changes to: “Bank Machine, I need to get some money, can’t you see….”

Why am I telling you all this crap about how my dysfunctional brain works where music is concerned? Consider it part of an unnecessarily long introduction to a post about the latest event to trigger my personal associative listening reflex….

They Say Prison Food is Bad, but at Least They Have Peaches and Herb

….and that event was reading the following headline and the news story attached to it: “Officer booked into same jail as inmate she’s accused of having sex with, SC cops say.”

As the story goes, a detention officer named Keondra Snow (sorry porn fans, but I don’t think she’s any relation to Aurora) stands accused of having sex with an inmate at the Williamsburg County Sheriff’s Office detention center back on September 30 and was later charged with sexual misconduct. As fate would have it, Snow now finds herself detained in that very same facility.

If you’re following along here, you may already know where my musically-defective brain went for this one. That’s right: My brain went straight back to the late 70s – and, more specifically, straight back to “Reunited” by Peaches & Herb.

“I Sat Here Staring at the Same Old Wall” Indeed!

Clearly, in this context, the line “Reunited, and it feels so good” doesn’t seem quite right – which is where my brain’s instant-parody proclivity might come in handy. Let’s see if we can’t get that catchy little chorus hammered into a more context-appropriate shape, shall we?

Reunited, at the county pen

Reunited, facing 5 to 10

There’s one perfect fit

But we got caught at it

We are both so indicted ‘cause we’re reunited hey, hey

There; much better!