Aren't There Better Porn Star/Rapper Tickets For 2020?

By Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Porn For Women

Even If you were among the people who were happy with the outcome of the 2016 presidential election, I suspect you’d concede the country could have presented with a better candidate on one side of the contest or the other.

As more than one commentator lamented at the time, 350 million Americans to choose from, and these are the best candidates we could come up with?

In a far narrower sense, I’m having the same reaction to the news porn performer Cherie DeVille and rapper Coolio are ticketing up with each other for a run in 2020.

Undeniably, They Have Qualifications Which Are “Modern Presidential”

DeVille’s explanation for why she’s running is an interesting mix of the relatable and the ironic, considering one of her stated concerns is the voting public is now “voting for people as if we’re on a reality television show.”

“My concern is if we continue to purely vote for celebrities, or political figures, or the most entertaining, they’re not always going to be quality politicians,” she said.

You don’t say. How is voting for someone because she’s a porn star paired up with a rapper better than voting for a reality TV star, exactly?

“If our criteria now for becoming a political official is minor celebrity, I have that,” DeVille said. “I feel like I can be potentially what I’m feeling the American people — for better or for worse — want, which is interesting news, scandalous news, you know, not ‘boring’ political news.”

Hmmm. I’m not sure boring political news is what we’re getting now, what with all the tweets about short, fat rocket men, so-called judges and the like, but I suppose some folks might find DeVille more interesting than our current president.

How about potential VP Coolio; what does he have to say for himself?

“Somebody got to do something man, somebody got to try,” says Coolio. “We need normal people, we need normal regular everyday people in office.”

Yes, we need normal people – the kind of normal, regular everyday people who have won Grammys, released multiple albums went platinum and who’ve had a beef with Weird Al Yankovich for failing to ask permission to parody their work.

Haven’t We Had Enough Of Inexperienced Pols?

To be clear, I don’t have a problem with the idea of a porn star and rapper making a run for the White House; I just think we can do better than DeVille and Coolio.

To me, one of the drawbacks of the Deville/Coolio ticket is their collective inexperience – not in politics, but in porn and rapping. Sure, both are veterans of their respective fields, but there’s no shortage of porn stars and rappers who have more profile, better name recognition and stronger resumes to their credit.

How about a Nina Hartley/Ice Cube ticket, for example?

To me, there’s no question Hartley is a more respected, better established adult entertainment figure than DeVille – and I’m quite sure she could come up with a better slogan than “Make America Fucking Awesome Again,” DeVille’s not-so-clever retread of Trump’s 2016 slogan, which was in turn a recycling of Ronald Reagan’s 1980 slogan, minus the word “let’s.”

As for Mr. Cube, not only has his rapping garnered more accolades than that of Coolio, he has a way more impressive film resume, as well. Sure, he’s done some utter crap in his time, but if I’m not mistaken, the accepted Hollywood standard is one Boyz n the Hood is enough to counteract three instances of Ride Along.

If You Can’t Persuade Them, Confuse Them

As referenced earlier, one of the most important aspects of politics is name recognition – and sometimes it doesn’t matter if voters are thinking of the wrong person with the name in question, so long as the name rings familiar.

Along those lines, I think the best porn star/rapper ticket for 2020 would be Stephanie Swift/Kanye West – because once the signs and bumper stickers went up with Swift/West 2020 on them, many voters would be under the impression these two had buried the celebrity hatchet, creating a ticket with unsurpassed cachet.

Sure, there would be some downsides to a Swift/West ticket, including the unfortunate possibility it might lead some people to think Stephanie Swift was a secret white supremacist, but no political campaign is without its PR risk, right?