Lying: Oh, They Aren’t The Only Males Doing This…
When it comes to lying, s any honest man would admit, guys can be a little less than entirely forthcoming or truthful with their dates. (The same can be said of women, naturally, including of Calico herself, who spent approximately six years as a “27 year-old” back in the late 90’s.)
Some men are far more skilled with their dating-lies than others, of course. Rather than spin some obviously false tale of military heroism or tremendous financial success, they might just fudge a few details here and there to make a somewhat dull story more interesting, or to create an impression of greater worldliness than they actually possess.
At times, it almost seems as though human male liars have been taking pointers from of their counterparts in the animal kingdom, some of whom have this lying-to-females thing down to an uncanny science. Take the superb lyrebird, for example: These fellows really know what kind of falsehood it takes to influence a female’s behavior — and, in a development that might come to a surprise to a lot of men, it’s not exaggerating either their level of financial success or their interest in starting a family.
So, what do male superb lyrebirds do to artificially encourage interest from females? Does it involve gorgeous jewelry? Or maybe delicious chocolate? Is chocolate poisonous or otherwise toxic to birds? Why am I suddenly so focused on chocolate, anyway?
The answer to some of those questions (although, sadly, not the ones about chocolate) are yours to read in Calico’s latest post: “Oh, They Aren’t The Only Males Doing This…”
by Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Award Winning Erotic Movies
Men lying to their dates, particularly on a first date, is so common that some of my friends have a hard time deciding which is the craziest, most implausible or just plain worst lie they’ve ever been told on a date.
For me, this is no challenge at all – because I once went on a date with a guy who claimed he had spent 10 years working for the CIA, yet couldn’t correctly name the city, or even the state, in which CIA headquarters is located. (The answer, for the record, is Langley, Virginia, for all you would-be spies out there who are about to go on a date of your own.)
Some guys don’t so much lie as they omit – by, say, not mentioning the fact they’re saddled with crippling debt. Other lies are there to conceal the fact they’re not taking your relationship particularly seriously, like explaining that they “just don’t believe in labelling things” when you ask them, seven months into your relationship with them, why they never refer to you as their girlfriend. Others will reserve their lies for when they’re in big trouble, with gems like “I swear I will never cheat on you again!”
“Wait, Don’t Go: There Are Lions Out Tonight…”
Naturally, some men are more skillful with their lies than others. And as it turns out, some of the most skillful lying males aren’t even human – and I mean that literally, not in the sense that their name is “Ted Cruz.”
Researchers looking into the courtship behaviors of the appropriately named “superb lyrebird” (or Menura novaehollandiae for the Latin-inclined) found that “certain male lyrebirds falsely signal that a predator is nearby to boost their chances of mating.”
“Anastasia Dalziell at Cornell University in Ithaca, New York, and her colleagues observed this courtship and found that, when a female started to leave a male’s territory without mating, the male imitated the sound of many birds of various species making alarm calls and dashing at a predator,” Nature reports. “Females that heard such false alarms sometimes stayed close or returned to the male’s territory.”
Very clever, Mr. Menura Novaehollandiae – or may I just call you “Men” for short?
“Come Back to Bed, Baby – I Mean for Safety’s Sake, of Course.”
This all reminds me a bit of those piggish guys who will warn us about other guys being pigs.
You know the sort: They spend the whole evening undressing you with their eyes, then if you mention a mutual male friend, immediately sensing ‘competition,’ they begin telling you that other guy “just sees women as sex objects” or “is a real playa” or is “on parole for robbing a convenience store with a sharpened screwdriver” or whatever they think might frighten you into ignoring someone they see as a rival suitor.
Making matters worse, male lyrebirds will employ this technique not just to further their attempts at seduction, but even just to squeeze a few more moments of coital bliss out of an encounter!
“Male lyrebirds used the same acoustic hoax during sex, probably because it led females to stick around for a few extra seconds, helping the male to deposit sperm at the far end of the female’s reproductive tract,” the Nature article continues. “During sex, the male also ‘blindfolded’ his mating partner by covering her head with his wings — a behavior that might prevent females from detecting the male’s trickery, the authors say.”
Ah-ha! I knew there was more to my husband always wanting to have sex with lights off than meets the eye. Clearly, he’s just trying to keep me from noticing there isn’t really a leopard lurking between the bed and the bathroom door.
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