Hold The Cheese: Pizza Ordering Vibrator Doesn’t Exist Yet

At a time when fake news, fake porn and fake body parts are all around us, Calico says it’s important to consider your sources where sensational and fantastic claims are concerned. Did you hear about a UFO crash from some trashy British tabloid, or a respected publication like the Weekly World News, for example? Is it your wacky hippie uncle saying the government is using “chemtrails” to control people’s minds, or was it your far more credible survivalist uncle who lives in a log cabin in a remote area of Wyoming? Now, more than ever, such details matter.

These considerations are also the source of Calico’s skepticism concerning the announcement of an amazing new product, which comes a few months before the product will (supposedly) become available. Read all about it in her latest post “Hold The Cheese: Pizza-Ordering Vibrator Doesn’t Exist Yet” …

– Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Porn for Women

In an age rife with fake news, AI-assisted fake celebrity porn and – yes – even cocaine-filled fake butts, any time you read something which sounds sensational, wild, or bizarre, the first thing you must do is consider the source of the information.

For example, if you hear about an alleged UFO crash in Russia, it makes a huge difference whether the report comes from a sketchy tabloid site like Express.co.uk, or an established, mainstream, long-running, reputable, presumably multiple Pulitzer award-winning publication like The Weekly World News.

So, while I was initially excited by the prospect of owning a vibrator with which I could easily and conveniently order a pizza, my inner skeptic quickly muttered: Hold the cheese, Calico; which pleasure product company is offering this amazing new product?

Sadly, the answer to the above question has only deepened my doubts that I’ll be enjoying a post-orgasm mushroom and pepperoni pie any time soon.

Cumming Soon To An Adult Shop And/Or Pizza Parlor Near Me?

As it turns out, the company behind the pizza-ordering vibrator isn’t a pleasure products manufacturer at all; it’s CamSoda, an adult webcam site which has something of a checkered past when it comes to making false claims to generate publicity. (More on that in a minute.)

According to CamSoda’s goofy-photo-filled press release, the pizza ordering vibrator “is made possible with an internet programmable Bluetooth button (similar to the Amazon Dash Button) designed to fit on a Lovense Nora vibrator.”

“The button has payment/delivery and order information, which is programmed into it at the time of purchase and connects to Domino’s through its pizza-ordering API,” the release continues. “When a user is done ‘using’ the vibrator, they push the button, which places a delivery order for a large cheese pizza.”

In addition to the curious use of air-quotes around the word “using,” the above paragraph sticks out for its use of the present tense, broadly implying this RubGrub button is a product which already exist and is available on the market. But the press release offers no purchase link and no details as to where the button can be acquired – although it does offer a price, both for the button alone ($19.95) and a bundle ($119.95) in which you’d buy the button and the Lovense vibrator with which it’s allegedly compatible.

According to HuffPo’s article about the RubGrub, the device is “currently in the final stages of development” and the company’s vice president “expects it will be available for purchase in a few months.”

Hmmm. While I’d love to take the CamSoda VP’s word on this, the fact the GrubRub sounds like an existing product in the press release, but hasn’t made it through the production process, brings us back around to the credibility of the source.

Let Me Guess: Next It Will Offer The Ability To Order Shark Fin Soup?

If the name CamSoda rings a bell, it may be because last year, a video purporting to show one of the company’s cam performers being bitten by a shark went viral, only to be exposed as a fake.

To be fair, creating a device like RubGrub using Domino’s public API, as CamSoda claims to have done wouldn’t be a stretch for a company with competent developers, so maybe it will be only a matter of time before what is now just a promotion becomes an actual product.

If so, the company is also promising the RubGrub will soon offer the ability to order more than just pizza, with plans to incorporate “additional restaurant chains, including those serving Mexican and Chinese food.”

What; no shark fin soup?