Is There Also a Correlation Between Good Orgasms and Eating Too Many Doritos?

Is There Also a Correlation Between Good Orgasms and Eating Too Many Doritos?

While she makes fun of the guy a lot, the truth is Calico and her husband have a lot in common. Unfortunately for Calico, one thing they have in common is an uncanny ability to cherry-pick scientific orgasms research that offers conclusions they like, while ignoring the research they find inconvenient.

Why is this a problem? These days, there’s a lot of research being done on marijuana — and any time this research reaches a conclusion which supports the notion that consuming pot is beneficial in some way, her husband takes it as evidence he needs to smoke more of the stuff — if indeed it’s even possible for that human chimney to smoke more than he currently does.

Making matters worse, sometimes there’s an intersection between ‘weed science’ and areas that are nearer and dearer to Calico’s own heart – and these intersections present an opportunity for her husband to lobby for more pot smoking at the same time as lobbying for something Calico wants, a potent manipulative technique she finds quite irritating.

What research has emerged that has Calico bracing herself for another round of spousal smoke-lobbying? Does it matter that the study involved subjects roughly half her husband’s age? Did he even read past the headline? Is the fact he’s stoned all the time the reason the dishes don’t get done until midnight when it’s his turn? These and other questions are explored in Calico’s latest post, “Is There Also a Correlation Between Good Orgasms and Eating Too Many Doritos?”

– Calico Rudasill, Porn Movies or Women

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Photo credit: Stoya

Read on…

Thanks a lot, science: Because of you, my husband is just never going to put down the bong.

I suppose I should probably explain that opening. You see, my husband is one of those people who manages to function quite well – he arrives at work every day on time, generally quite responsible, pays his taxes, etc. – despite being stoned approximately 100% of the time.

Like me, my husband is very good at being selective in terms of the science to which he pays attention. Does the study suggest one of his favorite hobbies is detrimental to his health? Well, that study is bunk, obviously. Does another study suggest, to the contrary, that his hobby is beneficial in any fashion whatsoever? Give that research team a Nobel Prize!

Every Cloud (of Pot Smoke) Has Its Silver Orgasms Lining

Luckily for me, if there’s one thing my husband likes nearly as much as smoking pot, it’s having sex. OK, admittedly, there’s also watching soccer and basketball, playing the guitar, reading books and avoiding doing the dishes, but other than those things, having sex is next on his list after getting stoned.

On the other hand, I’d kinda like him to smoke less pot – so whenever a study is published drawing a connection between marijuana use and better sex, I’m not quite as enthusiastic about the conclusions as I might otherwise be.

There have been several such studies in recent years, including one out of Canada that found “two themes (that) emerged with regards to participants’ perceptions of, and experiences with, the sexualized use of cannabis.”

“First, participants described how they used cannabis for sex to increase sexual pleasure and lower inhibitions. Second, participants described using cannabis for sex to reduce feelings of anxiety and shame, and foster intimacy and connection with sexual partners.”

That one didn’t draw too much interest from my husband because he has never been particularly inhibited – and if he has ever felt shame over anything, it’s news to me. We’re talking about a guy who gleefully and loudly slurps the last bits of soup from the bowl in public, regardless of how upscale the restaurant might be.)

How Can It Lead Me to Have Sex and Orgasms More Often When It Also Makes Me So Damn Sleepy?

My husband was way more excited about this study, which found that “marijuana appears to improve satisfaction with orgasm” in women, because it gave him the opportunity to pretend his enthusiasm had something to do with enhancing my pleasure, when in truth he was just hoping this would persuade me to smoke before sex with him more often than I currently do.

Then there was the study which suggested that there’s a “positive association between marijuana use and sexual frequency… in men and women across all demographic groups.” I heard about that one every day at 4:20pm for about six straight weeks, as I recall.

For the most part, I deal with these bursts of loosely-science-based enthusiasm by simply nodding, acknowledging that I’ve heard him and then quickly changing the subject to something else he’s obsessed with, like video games, soccer, or soccer video games. But there are times when my husband shows a remarkable degree of focus – especially for a guy who has just smoked a joint the size of a kielbasa.

I Can Just Hear It Now: “But I’m Still That Young – at Heart”

And now comes the latest pot/sex study to hit the headlines, one titled “The Influence of Cannabis and Alcohol Use on Sexuality: An Observational Study in Young People (18–30 Years).”

Now, since my husband is 51 and I am… hmm… well, let’s just say “about that same age,” you might think this study of people 21-34 years younger than he is has limited relevance to our situation. But my husband’s ability to read scientific studies super selectively will make short work of that minor little detail once he feasts his eyes on the abstract, I assure you.

Oh well, it could be much worse, obviously. After all, the only real irritation from all this will be more lobbying from my husband, during which he will implore me to smoke dope with him more often. I suppose I should just count my blessings the study didn’t find that binging replays of Liverpool football matches makes erections last longer.


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