Food For Sex? I’m Not THAT Cheap; Offer Me A Daniel Boulud Creation, At Least!

Food For Sex? I’m Not THAT Cheap; Offer Me A Daniel Boulud Creation, At Least!

If you’ve ever seen the Demi Moore/Robert Redford film “Indecent Proposal,” then maybe you’ve given some thought to the question of how much someone would have to pay you to have sex with them if you were married to Woody Harrelson. But what if you weren’t married to Woody Harrelson? And what if they didn’t have any money on them and instead wanted to exchange food for sex? Would a Happy Meal get the job done, or would they have to spring for a Big Mac and a “value sized” combo meal?

You might think it unlikely that anyone would believe another person would have sex with them for the price of a hamburger, but a sting operation in New Mexico found at least one fellow who didn’t think twice when the undercover officer suggested he could use his takeout burger from Chili’s in lieu of cash. This bit of law enforcement news got Calico thinking: What sort of food might she be willing to take as payment for sex? Find out in Calico’s latest post: “I’m Not THAT Cheap; Offer Me A Daniel Boulud Creation, At Least!”

food burger for sex karls

by Calico Rudasill,

It has been said that every woman has her price – a mildly insulting proposition, but one I believe to be (more or less) true. Of course, for the statement to have any meaning, additional context is needed. Every woman has her price for what?

I have a throw rug I truly adore, for example – one that really ties the room together, as The Dude might say. There’s no way I’d part with that rug for anything close to the price I originally paid for it, but if you came strolling up to my front door with a big enough wad of cash looking to buy it, I’d sell it to you. (First, of course, I’d want to know how the hell you found out about my fabulous rug and divined the location of my house, but that’s a whole other kettle of hypothetical fish.)

If the thing you’re looking to buy from me is sex, on the other hand, it would be a more complicated negotiation. I’m not sure exactly what my price would be – but I’m confident it would be more than the cost of a hamburger from Chili’s.

For a Good Time Call Carl’s Jr – I Hear Their Burgers Really Get Around

To be honest, when I first read about an “Arizona man” (look out Florida Man, you’ve got competition!) who “agreed to pay for sex with a hamburger from Chili’s,” I thought this meant he’d effectively agreed to pay for the right to masturbate with a burger wrapped around his pecker.

Upon reading further though, I realized I was mistaken – the burger was meant to be the medium of exchange in this sexual encounter, not Arizona Man’s (AKA “Dominic Calderon”) partner in the deed.

“After agreeing to terms and a price, Calderon told an Albuquerque police officer who was posing as a prostitute he did not have enough money until Friday,” according to local media reports. “The officer noticed Calderon was holding a to-go bag from Chili’s and asked what was inside. Calderon said a hamburger and the officer said that could be payment. Calderon agreed to the new terms and was arrested.”

If you’re worried about the cops not having a strong case against Calderon, fret not!

“The hamburger was taken into evidence.”

Paying for Sex with Food from a Chain Restaurant? Do They Even Have A Wine List?

It seems to me that at the very moment the undercover officer suggested the hamburger in question could be used as payment, Calderon should have known something was fishy – and I don’t mean in the sense that the chain restaurant’s Ancho Salmon is fishy.

I mean, c’mon – paying for sex with a hamburger from Chili’s? Really?

Look, I’m not saying there’s no food item out there that the offer of which would be sufficient to persuade me to have sex with a stranger, I’m just saying whatever item it might be isn’t on the menu at freakin Chili’s.

Maybe if you offered me a DB Bistro Moderne “Royale” Double Truffle Burger, we could talk – but only if it’s made to order. I’m not taking payment for sex that comes in a doggy bag, for fuck’s sake.

I think this is a perfectly reasonable prerequisite on my part. It’s not like I’m demanding a FleurBurger 5000, or a 777 Burger from Le Burger Basserie, after all.

Truth be told though, I’m more of a Pasta Princess than a Burger Babe – so if an Arizona Man wants me to participate in a food for sex exchange, he should be thinking less Chili’s and more Nello.

Already full of food?  Take a break for some erotic entertainment at  Click Here

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