A Break-In Story Which is Truly Gr-r-reat!

Most of the time, there’s nothing at all funny about a story of someone’s home being broken into. But, thanks to the unintentionally comic ingenuity of some criminals, every once in a while you’ll come across a story of a break-in which yields more mirth than alarm.

There’s a recent story out of Ohio which qualifies as one of those funnier-than-they-are-scary crime tales. It involves a guy whose only theft was that of crunchy, sugary corn flakes. And before you condemn him for eating them without asking, bear in mind he was probably really, really hungry — and extremely sleepy too, considering he’d just been rudely awoken from a nap he was taking inside a video viewing booth at a nearby porn shop.

tony tiger porn story

Read all about the saga of the Frosted Flakes Bandit in Calico’s latest post, “A Break-In Story Which is Truly Gr-r-reat!”

by Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Porn For Women

Where would this world be without dumb, incompetent and/or hapless criminals?

OK, so strictly speaking the world would probably be a much better place if it was entirely criminal-free. But since a criminal-free world probably isn’t possible, at least inept criminals give us loads of hilarious news stories, facepalm-worthy security camera footage and jaw-dropping trial transcripts for our amusement.

Did He Smell The Milk First, At Least?

Ordinarily, I’d say there’s nothing funny about a woman waking up in the middle of the night to discover there’s an intruder in her bedroom.

But when that intruder who is in her bedroom benignly says hello, then leaves the bedroom without incident upon being told to get out, only to then be rediscovered in her kitchen eating Frosted Flakes, the story’s funny kinda starts to overshadow its creepy.

“They startled him, and they hollered at him and he went into the kitchen and they discovered he was sitting in their kitchen eating Frosted Flakes,” explained Sylvania Police Chief Paul Long.

tony tiger porn story

It’s not clear what the man’s motive was for the breaking and entering (and eating) escapade, but I do have a theory: I think he may have been preparing to hop in a kayak and shoot some nearby rapids. Either that, or he was trying to figure out Tony the Tiger’s secret formula and the house had no basement in which to hide.

In any event, at least he didn’t turn out to be a cereal-killer, right?

The man “didn’t harm them, touch them, anything like that,” according to Chief Long.

“At this point we’re not sure if there was any property missing, but obviously a very unusual circumstance,” Chief Long added.

Sir, That Video Booth Is Designed For Masturbating, Not Camping

As it turns out, breaking into the home to have a little breakfast was not the first caper pulled by the Frosted Flakes Bandit on the evening in question.

“Police later were approached by a clerk at Four Star Books adult entertainment store,” reports WTOL.com. “He told police the suspect in first incident matched the description of a man he’d just thrown out of his store because he was drunk and passed out in the viewing booth.”

I just hope the Bandit deposited a couple bucks’ worth of quarters before curling up for his surreptitious video booth nap. After all, while I can sympathize with the sudden need to take a nap when one is both a wee tipsy and quite sleepy (I think “drunk” and “passed out” are both too harsh and speculative to use as descriptors here), brick and mortar adult stores have enough trouble turning a profit without guys crashing out in their video booths.

Seriously guys, any time you simply must catch a few Zs in an environment which smells like dried-up semen, give the nation’s underpaid, underappreciated porn store clerks a break and find a fraternity house which doesn’t mind serving as an impromptu dude hostel.

See Something, Say Something Take Pics

Noting that the front door to the home invaded by the Frosted Flakes Bandit was unlocked at the time of the incident, Chief Long reminded people of the importance of locking up, even when you’re at home – and encouraged residents of his jurisdiction to keep an eye out for trouble on each other’s behalf.

“The neighbors are the ones who know what belongs in their neighborhood and what doesn’t, what’s out of place,” Chief Long said. “The old ‘see something, say something,’ really does apply. If you think something’s not right, call. We’ll come out and check it out.”

While I appreciate the wisdom and truth of Chief Long’s words, I would add to them a small request of my own: If what you see is some strange man eating Frosted Flakes in your neighbor’s kitchen, please – for the sake of worldwide netizen amusement – take pics before you dial 911.

Juicy Adult - Image Ad


If you enjoy a fun and educational approach to sexuality then Erotic Scribes is sure to please. No boring, dry articles here. From Passionate Sex to Smart Porn, the news, articles and opinions on sex-related topics are interesting and entertaining. And the erotic videos and sex toy reviews are designed to enlighten and entertain.

And because Erotic Scribes is designed for women, there's a range of information from mild to wild suited for your individual preference. So check us out, and be amazed at some of the features designed to excite, educate and possibly even surprise you.

Erotic Scribes is the free news and information site published by Sssh.com, the web's destination place for erotica for women, by women.

The views in our op-eds, and news commentary do not necessarily reflect the views of Sssh.Com, its owners or staff and are solely the opinions of the contributing authors & journalists.

Recent Articles

A Very Different Porn Experience

Sex Toys Fantastic For Women and Couples! COUPON CODE SSSH20 for 20% off.

VR Porn For Women!

vr porn for women

Explicit Erotica Exquisitely Done explicit erotica exquisitely done Erotic Cinema For Discerning Adults boodigo adult porn search Anonymous Adult Search
Female Friendly Live Cams

Polls & Quizes

Related articles