He Beats Up People For A Living, But Liking Porn Would Tarnish His Image

I don’t know if I’m just getting easier to confuse as I age, or if the world is simply getting stranger and harder to figure out, day by day.

To cite just one out of the countless available examples, it’s strange to me that at a time when the sports media world is collectively freaking out about concussions in football, the same sports media world will relentlessly promote a major boxing match, with nary a peep about the fact concussing your opponent basically is the whole fucking goal of a boxing match.

Along those same lines, it’s hard for me to fathom why the public image of a man who beats the shit out of people for a living would be concerned about that image being tarnished, should people come to believe he enjoys porn.

Oh, For Fuck’s Sake; The “I Was Hacked” Excuse AGAIN?

I know by now I shouldn’t be surprised when famous people float bullshit excuses to explain anything porn-related which might happen with their social media accounts, but it still makes me shake my head every time – and hearing it from MMA fighter Sage Northcutt is no exception.

“Hey everyone, someone just brought to my attention that my twitter was being hacked into… not cool,” Northcutt tweeted after someone posted a screenshot showing his account had liked a porn tweet.

Oh, Sage, you poor thing; don’t you realize, even in the very unlikely event your explanation is true, nobody is going to believe that shit?

The responses to his tweet which followed Northcutt’s explanation were a predictable mix of skepticism, mockery and meme-driven incredulity. (This one is my favorite, despite featuring the smuggest, most punch-worthy face never to hold elected office.)

Oh sure, there were a few takers in the twitter mix, folks who swallowed Northcutt’s excuse whole, or at least pretended to, including a couple who suggested the hacker behind the wayward like was just a jealous hater. Whether they’re really that gullible, or just sycophantic, it’s hard to say – but based a quick survey of the responses, one thing they certainly are is in the minority of those who responded to Northcutt’s excuse.

In other words, survey says… “Bullshit!”

Sage Looks Innocent Enough; Why Is His Excuse So Hard To Believe?

Why don’t I believe Northcutt’s excuse?

For starters, if someone is going to go to the trouble of hacking a Twitter account to embarrass its rightful owner with something porn-related, wouldn’t they do something a bit more noticeable than like a random porn tweet, like tweet a dick pic with the implication being it is Northcutt’s own trouser snake?

The idea of someone hacking into an account just to like something and then disappear simple doesn’t sound legit to me. It’s like going into a bank, pretending to have a gun in your coat – but then demanding only that the terrified teller give you a stick of her gum.

Technically, even if it’s one law enforcement would never investigate (let alone pass along to a prosecutor), hacking into a Twitter account is a crime. Hacking into one just to like something embarrassing would make it a crime which is all risk and no reward; why would anyone bother with the effort?

Meanwhile, Inside The Octagon…

Getting back to what started my little rant, I’m also amazed at the notion Northcutt’s liking of a porn tweet would significantly impact his public image, one way or the other.

While I’ve largely lost interest in the sport, there was a time when I was an MMA fan. OK, so my affection for the sport had more to do with getting the opportunity to watch two scantily-clad men roll around on the floor in a sweaty embrace than it did the outcome of the fights, but either way it’s entertainment, right?

Anyway, back when I used to watch the sport often, I had no illusions about the nature of the spectacle I was watching: It’s a modern, somewhat sanitized version of gladiators fighting in the colosseum, only with more expensive wolf-nipple chips.

As you’re watching Northcutt kick another guy in the head, or attempt to break one of his limbs, are any of you really sitting there thinking “This Sage Northcutt fellow seems a lovely, upstanding young chap; what a pity it would be if it turns out he watches porn.”?

The good news is, judging by a lot of the responses to his “I was hacked” excuse, many of his fans who didn’t believe the excuse weren’t at all troubled by the porn-like to begin with.

In other words, to borrow a line from someone calling himself “John D. Omega” – it’s OK Sage; grown men are allowed to like pussy.