If you’re Calico’s age and you think back to the depictions of the future you were exposed to in your youth, does our current reality measure up to the visions from yesteryear? In Calico’s mind, it certainly doesn’t — especially when it comes to transportation technologies. By now, she figured she’d be driving a flying car, or at least have a jetpack with which she could run nearby errands.
As Calico sees it, the one bright spot in current transportation technology is the self-driving car, or “connected and autonomous vehicle.” In a recent paper, a couple of British academics predict that CAVs will impact us in all sorts of foreseeable ways — including by serving as a place for people to get it on.
Sounds great, right? Well, it would sound great, except these are British academics we’re talking about here, so of course they also predict CAVs will be “monitored” to prevent people from fucking in them, because Britain is just a weird-ass surveillance state like that.
Will CAVs be the mobile brothels of tomorrow, or will the buzzkills prevail and keep the rest of us from having sex on the move? As always, Calico offers not only observations, but solutions. Read on in her latest post, “Problem Solved: Just Tilt the Seat Back”
by Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Porn For Women and Couples Movies and more
Like a lot of other people my age, I’m a bit disappointed with the state of transportation technology here in 2019.
In my case, the main reason for my dissatisfaction is the way I was conditioned as a child to expect ‘the future’ to be filled with stuff like flying cars, insubordinate, self-aware computers who flatly disobey the astronauts determined to turn them off and time-traveling cars which, despite being able to navigate into the future, oddly mix digital and analog display gauges throughout their interior.
There is some good news about the near-future of transportation, however: Those self-driving cars we hear so much about are going to be a terrific place for people to fuck.
CAV: Carnal Activity Vehicle?
Hey, it’s not just me who thinks self-driving cars – or, as the eggheads like to call them, “connected and autonomous vehicles” or “CAV” – are going to be the venue for a lot of human coitus in the future. There’s at least two British academics who agree with me.
Those two academics are Debbie Hopkins (Oxford) and Scott Cohen (U. of Surrey) who recently published a paper entitled “Autonomous vehicles and the future of urban tourism” in the Anals Annals of Tourism Research.
The authors say their paper “breaks new ground by providing an in-depth imaginings approach to the potential future far-reaching implications of CAVs for urban tourism.”
And what do they imagine these “far-reaching implications of CAVs” will include? Fucking, of course!
Noting that the “deployment of CAVs in cities will affect hotels, events, restaurants and bars in ways not yet meaningfully considered by the tourism, hospitality and events industries,” Hopkins and Cohen assert that “the intersection of automated mobility and the urban night demands systematic and place-specific analyses.”
I know, I know – this doesn’t sound much like sexy time yet, but bear with them a bit; right now, they’re just setting the mood. Granted, in this case, the mood seems best described as “academic with a 60% of falling asleep before the next paragraph,” but it’s still a mood.
“This might include questions of how prostitution, and sex more generally, in moving CAVs, becomes a growing phenomenon,” Hopkins and Cohen continue. “For instance, ‘hotels-by-the-hour’ are likely to be replaced by CAVs, and this will have implications for urban tourism, as sex plays a central role in many tourism experiences.”
Now that’s what I’m talking about!
Sex in Cars Meets Ubiquitous Surveillance: Welcome to the Future of UK Transportation!
Of course, you can’t bring up having sex in a car, especially among stodgy British intellectuals, without someone feeling compelled to point out the downsides of public, in-car fucking – or suggesting monitoring of CAVs to try to prevent said in-car fucking from taking place, because you know how those Brits are about liking to have surveillance cameras everywhere.
“While SCAVs will likely be monitored to deter passengers having sex or using drugs in them, and to prevent violence, such surveillance may be rapidly overcome, disabled or removed,” Hopkins and Cohen write. “Moreover, personal CAVs will likely be immune from such surveillance. Such private CAVs may also be put to commercial use, as it is just a small leap to imagine Amsterdam’s Red Light District ‘on the move.’”
Yeah, that’s right, British Big Brother – you can’t make me put one your cameras in my CAV, so you’re just going to have to live with using your CCTV cameras to watch me cruise the streets of London with my husband’s head jammed between my legs – if we move to London, and can ever afford a CAV, that is.
Either that, or we’ll just tilt the seat back nice and far or see to it that our naughty bits remain concealed under a blanket. (You’re welcome, Miss May.)
Calico’s work has appeared under various pen names in adult industry trade journals and on several mainstream op-ed portals, including the Huffington Post.