Seven Alarming Twitter Facts

Seven Alarming Twitter Facts

– Calico Rudasill, at Sssh.com Porn For Women

If you’re the sort of person who can still manage to appear shocked over how easy it is for people to find porn on the Internet (all of all places!) the UK’s Channel 4 News has another stunner just for you: Roughly one in every thousand tweets is a pornographic image.

“A Channel 4 News investigation into the extent of (Twitter’s) porn community has revealed that as many as 500,000 sexual images are posted daily, including images of hardcore and extreme sexual practices,” the outlet reported this week, to the absolute shock of almost nobody.

As Channel 4 notes, neither Facebook nor Instagram allow porn, and neither does Vine, which Twitter owns, but Twitter does allow accounts to be maintained by porn performers, studios and other porn-related businesses.

That’s right: for some strange reason, Twitter believes people who work in the porn industry have a right to express themselves, even in ways which make it clear what they do for a living!

Granted, Twitter is not exactly Pornhub or Redtube, both of which are freely accessible to basically anybody with an Internet connection, but Channel 4 does make a good point: For the eleven people left on Earth who apparently haven’t figured out any other way to find porn, they can also find porn on Twitter.

Since Channel 4 has this shocking Twitter porn-truth pretty well covered, I thought I’d contribute to the cause by revealing six additional alarming Twitter stats.

Now, seeing as how Channel 4 didn’t see fit to explain how they arrived at their porn-tweet-statistic, other than to say their “analysis suggests roughly one in every thousand tweets is a pornographic image” and that there are “more pictures of porn than there are of pets” on Twitter, I’m not going to explain my methodology, either.

I’m also not going to cite any sources here, substantiate any claims I make, or even log on to Twitter at any point to see if my assertions hold water; obviously that sort of thing went out of style around the same time Walter Cronkite’s corpse came out of rigor mortis.

Alarming Twitter Fact #2: One in seven tweets is from, by, about, or featuring Kim Kardashian, her Photoshopped ass, her obnoxious boyfriend of the moment, or the fashion accessory in human infant form she appears to have named after Oliver North. (Please note: This estimate does not take into account retweets.)

Alarming Twitter Fact #3: One in every 36 tweets is an outrageous, offensive statement made by a professional athlete.

Alarming Twitter Fact #4: One in every 54 tweets is an apology from a professional athlete regarding something outrageous and offensive they previously tweeted.

Alarming Twitter Fact #5: One in every 847 million tweets is a lie from a major network news anchor about his helicopter being shot down by an RPG, or an AK-47, or maybe it was just an Iraqi kid with a slingshot, or who can really say, what with the “Fog of War” and all.

Alarming Twitter Fact #6: While technically this is probably properly viewed as a subset of the statistic concerning the frequency of pornographic tweets, it’s still flabbergasting to note one in every 1.2 billion tweets contains a picture of a politician’s penis, specifically. (Damn you, hackers!)

And, finally:

Alarming Twitter Fact #7: Nine in ten tweets is an asinine lump of barely coherent nonsense and an utter waste of your time to read, much less get all upset about.

Tune in next time when we turn our speculative media-microscope on the social media phenomenon known as “The Facebook,” where among other things, our analysis suggests one in every 32 profiles is a mole working for the NSA!