Robot Handjobs and Sex Is The Future, Just In Time For Holiday Gift Shopping!

by Coleen Singer at Sssh.com

Yes, I know that sometimes it’s just too easy to poke a little fun at Japanese popular culture and media, but one thing it’s hard to ever tease them about is their prowess in technology and innovation.  Well, until this new Robotics invention recently was released, the “VR Tenga” which simply BEGS for a bit of silly commentary.

Over the weekend, this virtual sex simulator debuted in Japan, Kotaku reported. The “VR Tenga” is the product of a joint effort from adult toy company Tenga and virtual reality pioneer Oculus VR, the company behind an immersive virtual reality headset called the Oculus Rift.  Read on…

The VR Tenga was unveiled at an Oculus Rift game jam in Tokyo and, as can be seen in the NSFW video below, has at least a few people excited:

Another video floating around, this time on Vimeo (Youtube banned it), shows the naughty action on the “visual assist” headset to give you a better idea of what is meant to “give the guy a helping hand”:

Since the Italian Renaissance, people have had a fascination with many robotic visions which really came to fruition in the mid 20th century as technology developed at a rate that actually promised that robots were an inevitable progression.

The Three Laws of Robotics (often shortened to The Three Laws or Three Laws) are a set of rules devised by the science fiction author Isaac Asimov. The rules were introduced in his 1942 short story “Runaround“, although they had been foreshadowed in a few earlier stories. The Three Laws are (with #2 being the important one here):

1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey the orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

Well, that all makes sense when it comes to big scary robots like “Robbie” in Lost In Space, or the creepy “HAL” in “2001, A Space Odyssey”, but just what does happen when some randy young men decide to try double or even triple insertion on VR Tenga?  Does she come equipped with some Vagina Dentata (Latin for toothed vagina) self-protection module to nip off their naughty rods and nodes before they cause her to have a core meltdown?  I suspect a whole new field of Product Liability Litigation awaits personal injury attorneys around the world!

But, back to the actual technology of VR Tenga.  Buzzfeed explains how the contraption gets the robo-job done:

The device attaches a Novint Falcon—a grip-based, haptic controller—to a Tenga, a Japanese industrial masturbator. Used as intended, the user would insert his penis into the Tenga, which would be manipulated by the Falcon. All the while the user views on his Oculus some sort of visual stimulation synced to the movement of the hybrid Falcon/Tenga. Whether or not Japanese people are having less sex, it’s easy to imagine a consumer device that does what this prototype does, and the syncing of that device to the cornucopia of streaming pornography on the internet. And that is a frightening thought indeed.

The gentleman user simply starts the program, pops on the Oculus Rift headset and inserts himself (sorry) into the Tenga masturbation aid attached to the Falcon, which if it were sentient would probably be crying real tears at this point and wishing it had been bought by someone who just wanted to play Battlefield 4. The idea is that the images on screen respond to the user’s real-life gyrations, and with the head-mounted display on, the lonely male can look all around as if they’re really there.

Coupled with a pair of headphones to provide realistic surround sound, the setup would effectively create one of the most immersive simulated sexual intercourse experiences ever. It will also make the user entirely oblivious to the presence of family members who, after knocking on the door and receiving no reply, wander into the room to find their son/father/husband/uncle grinding away at his computer desk. Alone. Oops!

Actually, VR Tenga is not as groundbreaking as one might think.  For at least 10 years now, there has been a similar device called the “Realtouch“, created by good old American guys in North Carolina.  I actually saw a demo of a Realtouch at an AVN show quite a few years ago and, although pretty impressive technology with live two-way interaction with Real Video Chat girls over the internet, the design of it made it look sort of like a “Eva”  from”Walle-E” and a Swedish breadbox with a hole in the end of it which would give most guys pause before sticking a dick in it.  Sadly, Realtouch is being phased out at the end of 2013 due to some tech partner licensing issues (reading between the lines – A Patent Troll firm probably went after them).

In the here and now though, there is a very lively community of TechnoSexual Fetishists that even have an active discussion board on the interwebs! TechnoSexuals you may inquire?

Wikipedia gives us this basic definition:

A person that has a sexual attraction to machinery, as in the case of robot fetishism. When used thus, it is a portmanteau word combining “technophile” and “sexual”. As per this definition of the term, fictional android Gigolo Joe, played by Jude Law in the 2001 science-fiction film A.I. has become the iconic “technosex symbol“.

Thus, as we mourn the demise of RealTouch and eagerly await the release of VR Tenga, we can take consolation that a group of cutting edge film makers have actually created an HBO Style episodic series called “SciFiDreamgirls“.  Their video website features an episodic TV Show style format set in a futuristic world with mad scientist Dr. Ashley Fires as the architect of exotic fembots that are programmed for everything from sexual servitude to domestic service.

The producers say the site’s “technosexual” slant puts forth the idea that our machines have become an extension of ourselves and soon they will be our lovers too. She can walk and talk. She can kiss and lick. And she can have sex all night, whenever you want, as soon as you want and any way you want. And never has a headache.

SciFiDreamgirls has now expanded out into bringing Male Robots and Androids into their remarkable films.  It’s all intentionally campy in a Doctor Who way, and sure to please.  Take a SFW peek at a clip from a recent episode:

To give you an idea of the sheer George Lucas depth of plot, here’s the synopsis from a recent episode:

Episode #53: Ashley 3000 Goes To Space
“Alert, abrupt pressure change. Oxygen is at zero percent. Human in danger. Human in danger.” As Ashley 3000 looks up, her sensors now say there are no humans detected. Ashley 3000 scans the room and stares at the other fembot in the room. “My data memory reads that this looks like the HRX corporation lab number 3. But it is not. GPS coordinates not found. Where am I?” The Fembot explains that she felt this would be a more familiar setting for you. Ashley 3000 inquires again about where she is. The fembot explains that she is on the intergalactic space cruiser “Splerk.” Orbiting earth’s sun at a range of ten billion miles and opens the blast shield to show Ashley 3000 infinite space. The Alien Fembot begins to tell her what her prime objective is. Ming, her master has determined that Ashley 3000 is the most advanced robot on earth. Therefore she will be reprogrammed to lead Ming’s Fembot army in the conquest of earth. But Ashley 3000 will not go easy. She does not take anyone reprogramming her lightly. The alien is left with no choice and has to use the Orb gun on her. But our Alien Fembot will find that even an out of commission Ashley 3000 is still a dangerous robot!”

Now THAT’s ENTERTAINMENT!
Hail Ming