As Metaphors for Political Career Arcs Go, This One Is Almost Too On The Nose

As Metaphors for Political Career Arcs Go, This One Is Almost Too On The Nose

Sometimes, a news story relating an embarrassing or scandalous incident is almost too perfect when it comes to who is on the receiving end of the comeuppance described in the article. Like that time, back in the 1980s, when Rev. Jim Swaggart was outed for having sex with a prostitute, eventually yielding the most tearful-yet-insincere apology press conference in the history of tearful press conferences.

This week, Calico found herself reading about a government official who is facing Swaggart-style humiliation and downward career spiral that would, in other circumstances, cause her to feel sympathy for the man. After all, what does Calico care if some politician gets caught at a gay sex orgy while in possession of ecstasy?  

The thing is, we’re in the middle of a pandemic, so nobody should be going to orgies right now, no matter how much ecstasy they’re on. There’s another problem with this particular politician getting caught at a gay orgy, too — the all too familiar one of brazen hypocrisy.

Who got caught with his pants down this time? Should we be shocked he’s not a televangelist? Is it a good idea to run from the cops by sliding down a storm drain? Why the hell was he wearing a backpack, anyway? At least a couple of these mysteries can be solved by reading Calico’s new post, “As Metaphors for Political Career Arcs Go, This One Is Almost Too On The Nose.”

– Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com

READ ON…

Every so often, life hands us one of those “truth is stranger than fiction” moments that is so perfect, I almost have to wonder if what I’m reading really is fiction and I just didn’t notice that I’m reading something from The Onion.

Like when Donald Trump reportedly floated the idea of nuking a hurricane, or the time he asked why Seoul is so close to the border with North Korea, or… well, there’s just too much to choose from here, so how about I just stop with those two examples?

What; There Was no Political Fire Escape?

The latest example of a possibly too-perfect story comes out of Hungary, where a senior member of the country’s ruling Fidesz party has resigned after getting caught at a COVID lockdown-defying party.

What’s so ‘perfect’ about that, you might ask? Oh, did I forget to mention the party was an alleged “gay sex orgy” and that the Fidesz party is staunchly anti-LGBTQ rights?

Rounding out the perfection of this story, the Fidesz party representative in question, József Szàjer, reportedly fled “down the drainpipe” in trying to elude the police raiding the party.

“The man’s hands were bloody,” explained Sarah Durant, the spokeswoman for the Brussels’ public prosecutor’s office. “It is possible that he may have been injured while fleeing. Narcotics were found in his backpack. The man was unable to produce any identity documents. He was escorted to his place of residence, where he identified himself on the basis of a diplomatic passport as S.J. (1961).”

Yes, down the drainpipe went Szàjer, trying to avoid the cops. And since that attempt at avoidance was unsuccessful, now it’s down the drainpipe with his political career, too.

Reasons Not to Attend an Orgy Include – Gee, I Dunno – the Pandemic?

Normally I’d have tremendous sympathy for Mr. Szàjer and I’d be the first to say it’s none of our damn business whether he attends private sex parties, or even what drugs he (allegedly) has in his possession while attending those parties. Two things make it impossible for me to say something like that in this instance, though.

First, the Fidesz party opposes both same-sex marriage and gay adoption, which makes it pretty hard for me to fathom a gay man (closeted or otherwise) wanting not only to be a member of the party, but a senior representative who co-authored the 2010 revision to the country’s constitution that defines marriage as solely being one man/one woman.

Second, we’re in the middle of a fucking pandemic right now, so nobody should be holding, attending, or fleeing from any orgies at the moment – let alone a government official who is fully and unavoidably aware that going to such a party violates all manner of public health protocol and regulation.

At Least He (Sort Of) Took Responsibility

To his credit (although maybe that’s too strong a word to use here?) at least Szàjer has taken responsibility for his actions and admitted fault – other than that tab of ecstasy in his backpack, was TOTALLY NOT HIS, you guys.

“I deeply regret for violating the COVID restrictions, it was irresponsible on my part,” Szàjer said – and he’ll get no argument from me there. “I am ready to stand for the fine that occurs… The misstep is strictly personal. I am the only one who owes responsibility for it. I ask everyone not to extend it to my homeland, or to my political community.”

That last request is going to be a tough one for people to grant, József. You see, the thing is, when you’re part of a political party that goes around restricting the rights of the gay community, then you get caught at gay orgy, there’s about a 100% chance both you and the party are going to be subjected to criticism for brazen hypocrisy, even if you’re the only one who has openly demonstrated that hypocrisy.

That’s just the way the game is played with respect to sexual/political hypocrisy, József my man. Don’t take my word for it; just ask Jimmy Swagart and Ted Haggard.

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