Sex With Robots – Don’t They At Least Want to Meet the Robot First?

Sex With Robots – Don’t They At Least Want to Meet the Robot First?

There’s nothing quite like an unexpected survey result to stoke the fires of one’s curiosity. Can it really be true that 51% of people think stormy weather negatively impacts “cloud” computing? Is it possible that nearly a quarter of all Americans don’t know which country the U.S. gained its independence from via the Revolutionary War? Do 33% of Calico’s cousins actually believe she’s a professional poker player, despite her not being 100% sure whether a full house beats a straight, or vice versa?

In a sense, Calico thinks survey results are more fun when you don’t know much about the context from which it comes. If a survey comes to a conclusion that makes her laugh — like 29% of respondents think “migraine” is a type of rice — does she really care how surveyors structured the questions that led to this result?

But Calico is a naturally inquisitive person, too, so when a survey result makes her scratch her head, more information and broader context is exactly what she wants to hear. I mean, seriously — 23% of respondents think “MP3” was one of the droids from Star Wars? How could they not know MP3 is a rapper from Minneapolis?

What survey result has Calico scratching her head this week? Does God care who wins the Super Bowl, and if so, is God just a HUGE Tom Brady fan, or what? And what does Arnold Schwarzenegger have to do with any of this?

Find out in Calico’s latest post: “Don’t They At Least Want to Meet the Robot First?”

– Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Erotic Movies for Women and Couples

Read on…

I’ve always loved surveys and survey data – and where the latter is concerned, the less context, the better. I mean, how much context do we need when it comes to a delightfully disheartening conclusion like 1 in 4 Americans think the Sun goes around the Earth? All I need to know is that somewhere, right now, my high school science teacher is slumped in a chair, taking slugs off a flask of whisky and questioning his raison d’etre.

And what do I care how the questions were structured in the survey that found 10% of people think HTML is an STD? Sure, some media ethics buzzkills out there questioned the validity of that survey and the media’s eager coverage of it, but if I reject that survey, I also must reject its finding that 27% of respondents think a “gigabyte” is “an insect commonly found in South America” – and that’s a sacrifice I’m just not willing to make.

This Data Checks Out with Firsthand Observations of Sports Competitions

Some of this comes down to one’s own perspective and history, naturally. Many surveys that reveal data other people find surprising strike me as entirely unsurprising, based on my own personal experience.

The notion that 1 in 4 Americans believe God helps decide who wins sporting contests, for instance, squares nicely with the number of people I have watched praying in the stands as their placekicker lines up to take a game-winning kick – not to mention the mind-numbing frequency with which athletes give praise to God following a victory, or a great performance on their own behalf, no matter how unlikely it seems that God would want to have anything to do with their vocation. (Rich Franklin once even thanked God for helping him beat a man to a pulp, for example.)

I’m not a religious person, nor am I particularly well-educated on the question of which of humanity’s affairs God allegedly does or doesn’t see fit to get involved with, so this question falls outside my own expertise. That said, I suppose if you believe God would weigh in to tell poor Abraham to kill his son just as a test of faith, it’s not that big a stretch to think the same God would influence one of Rich Franklin’s opponents to zig into a head kick when he should be zagging in the other direction.

Which Robot?

Anyway, as someone who is already on record as being very much in favor of sex robots, I am also probably among the “nearly 42% of people” who would have sex with a robot.

“About 42% of our survey respondents would have sexual intercourse with a robot,” reports Tidio. “Yet, only 39% believe they could have a romantic relationship with an AI.” 

That makes perfect sense to me, really. I’d far prefer a one-night stand with a sex robot than some ongoing thing. In fact, I’d really prefer that the robot not spend the night, in part because I have no idea what robots like to eat for breakfast, and I’d feel awfully rude not offering some.

I do have one question for the people who express such readiness to have sex with robots: Don’t they want to know at little something about the robot, first? 

I mean, what happens if you’re not sexually attracted to a sex bot you meet on a blind date? What if the robot is opposed to performing oral sex, or is only interested in anal sex, or if you’re someone who leans left and upon your first date, the robot immediately announces itself as a staunch Trump supporter before you’ve even finished your appetizers? Are you truly up for MAGA robo-sex?

Also, what kind of robot are we talking about here? It’s not the most precise term, after all, so without first meeting the sex bot, I don’t know whether I’m being propositioned by something that looks like a 1984 Arnold Schwarzenegger, a 2019 Arnold Schwarzenegger or possibly a 2008 Ben Burtt crammed inside a WALL-E exoskeleton?

Maybe it’s Just a Token of Our Extreme

I didn’t have long to contemplate the questions above before the survey respondents’ high willingness to have sex with a robot, sight unseen, suddenly made perfect sense to me.

“There is also a large discrepancy between men and women,” Tidio continues. “Men are more open to both the idea of sleeping with a robot (48%) and falling in love with an AI (43% of male respondents).”

This also makes sense, because while I’m at least somewhat discerning in the people and things with which I’ll have sex, my older brother would happily fuck a toaster, provided it wasn’t plugged in at the time.

Besides, thanks to the wisdom of L. Ron Hoover, we already know that many people are latent appliance fetishists, defined as “a person who refuses to admit to his or herself that sexual gratification can only be achieved through the use of machines.”

Can I get an “amen,” people? If not, then I suppose I’ll settle for an “a-android.”

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