This Just In: Sexual Stereotypes About Men Are Bullshit, Too

This Just In: Sexual Stereotypes About Men Are Bullshit, Too

If you’re a woman, you don’t need Calico to tell you about the pernicious impact of feminine sexual stereotypes and myths about female sexuality that other people often expect you to indulge in, embody or live up to.

What we talk about a lot less are the stereotypes surrounding male sexuality, the biggest of which is the notion that men are always ready, willing and able to peel off their clothes and make the beast with two backs at a moment’s notice.

As it turns out, young men today appear to be feeling the weight of that sexual stereotype in ways previous generations didn’t. Or are they? Should we assume that just because past generations of men haven’t given voice to their insecurities, fears and hangups means they didn’t experience them?

Beyond that, if we declare the current generation of young men to be “terrified” of sex, isn’t that too a sexual stereotype? Isn’t it, at best, merely a different kind of flawed generalization?

Get more of Calico’s take on this in her new post, “This Just In: Sexual Stereotypes About Men Are Bullshit, Too.”

by Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Sex Entertainment For Women and Couples

I can’t imagine that very many women reach adulthood without being exposed to (and mentally assaulted by) a variety of sexual stereotypes to which other people expect us to live up/down.

You know the sort of thing I’m talking about – women are more prone to develop emotional attachments, we’re not “visually stimulated” the way men are (which is why we “don’t watch porn” – something that will come as an enormous surprise to my ISP, whose data probably reflects a different sort of reality) and so on and so forth.

Even when there’s some truth behind a stereotype – like the notion that men are more likely to violently hurl the remote control at the television after the team they’re rooting for concedes a touchdown, basket or goal – the problem with stereotypes is they encourage us to ignore differences in individual people and to lazily assume what applies to many therefor applies to all.

Of course, lazy, dumb, misinformed sexual stereotypes aren’t just for women, because society at large has been generous in cooking them up for men, too.

Men Are Insatiable Lust-Beasts… Except When They’re Not

If there is one sexual stereotypes about men that is more widely accepted than any other, it’s the claim that men are sexually insatiable, always ready to get down to business, or “hormone-driven Frankenstein’s monsters,” as Eric Spitznagel put it in a recent piece for the New York Post.

Spitznagel’s article is about Peggy Orenstein’s new book, “Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity” and the research she did in writing it. 

Orenstein, whose past works include “Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape” and “Don’t Call Me Princess,” is no stranger to exploring sexual stereotypes – but it seems like even she was surprised to find that the “guys are sexually insatiable” assertion isn’t rock solid.

“It was a bias that even Orenstein admits to having,” Spitznagel writes. “She was shocked by how often the boys shared stories of being on the receiving end of unwanted sex, ‘in which girls didn’t hear or didn’t respect ‘no.’”

One reason why people aren’t aware that guys do NOT “always” want sex is that men have been encouraged to present themselves in that way, not just by influences in the media, but because their male mentors and peers encourage them to do so, as well. Spitznagel’s review makes it sound like Orenstein explores those influences at some length in her book, particularly the popular media influences – but I hope it doesn’t devolve into one of those “movies make people do x” or “porn makes people think y” kind of things, because those sorts of assertions aren’t any more intellectual rigorous than the sexual stereotypes at issue here.

Headline Writer, Irony Is Thy Name

One more observation/question about the NY Post piece here: Is it just me, or is it a bit ironic than an article about sexual stereotypes is topped by a headline which reads “Why today’s young men are terrified of sex”?

I mean, I get it – some of the young men Orenstein interviewed do sound legitimately “terrified” of sex. Others merely sound somewhat confused, a little apprehensive, or unsure how to feel about sex, exactly.

You know what, though? I’m guessing literally millions of young men out there are NOT terrified of sex. Nervous? Sure. Scared at first? You bet. But “terrified”? More sexual stereotypes, please!

Since this is all anecdotal evidence (other than citations to the General Social Survey, the results of which I trust about as much as I trust the proclamations of Robert Tilton), someone needs to tell my nephew he’s terrified of sex – because if he starts fucking his girlfriend any more often than he already does, my sister is going to install mirrors on his bedroom ceiling and start charging them hourly rates when his GF stays the night.

More Sex Entertainment at Sssh.com, Erotic Movies for Women and Couples