All couples fight at least a little bit. No matter how strong your relationship, no matter how solid its foundation, there’s going to be random time when your spouse leaves dishes in the sink on the wrong night, or tells a friend something about you that you wanted to remain a secret. Hell, anyone who has been married can probably be forgiven for losing it and shrieking something like “You make me so angry, I’m going to KILL you!” — provided that they don’t mean it and don’t follow through, of course.
Last summer, a woman in Arkansas took her outrage at her husband’s porn-viewing just a LITTLE too far. Evidently, his porn consumption was not just something she disapproved of, it was an absolute affront to her and her God. So, what did this angry, God-fearing woman of the Natural State do? To find out, check out Calico’s latest post: “There’s Being Anti-Porn And Then There’s Being REALLY Anti-Porn.”
by Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Porn For Women and Couples
If there’s one thing which makes my day-to-day a lot easier than it might be otherwise, it’s the fact my marriage is relatively conflict-free. Still, like any couple, we have our moments of anger, many of them truly dumb – and which sometimes include saying awful things we don’t mean.
For instance, when I’m at the height of my rage over something, my husband will occasionally needle me with a sarcastic remark like “Well, at least you’re not making too big a deal out of this,” while I’ve been known to say things to my husband like “If you don’t wash the dishes before we go to bed, I swear to god I’m going to kill you!”
In my defense, I’d only say such a thing when it’s his night to do dishes, there’s a good size stack of plates in the sink and I know I’ll be the first one up the next morning. (There’s nothing worse than going to make that first pot of coffee and not being able to rinse out the pot because there’s a pile of lasagna-cheese-encrusted plates in the way.)
I’d love to be able to honestly say that nobody, anywhere, would ever kill their spouse over something as trivial as leaving dirty dishes in the sink… but this is the point in my post where you must know what’s coming, don’t you? Of course you do.
That Must Have Been One Expensive Subscription!
Last July, when Patricia Hill of Pine Bluff, Arkansas found out her husband Frank had purchased access to a “pornography channel” she lost her shit and shot him twice, killing him inside the couple’s utility shed.
OK, to be fair, evidently it wasn’t the first time Patricia had busted Frank over subscribing to a porn channel, according to the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office.
“Mrs. Hill stated that she disagreed with her husband’s purchase of video pornography via the television guide, which she cancelled upon discovering the purchase,” explained Major Lafayette Woods of the JCSO. “But Mr. Hill managed to place a subsequent order.”
I love the “managed to” bit there – as though it’s difficult to figure out how to press the right buttons on one’s remote control. Then again, this is Arkansas we’re talking about, so maybe I should be more impressed by Frank’s feat.
Well, I Suppose That’s One Way to Get Someone’s Attention…
So, what was Patricia’s explanation for why she killed her husband over his porn-consumption? According to Jefferson County prosecutor Kyle Hunter, “Hill testified she was not thinking when she shot her husband and did not mean to kill him, but simply wanted to get his attention after discovering the X-rated purchase on a bill.”
As much as I can sympathize with another woman who has a hard time getting her husband to pay attention, I feel like there are means of doing this which are somewhat less severe than shooting him. Perhaps a happy medium between doing nothing and blowing his head off would be to fire a Roman Candle in his general direction? If one of those suckers doesn’t do the trick, you can always upgrade to the Gatling Gun version.
Porn Is Offensive to God, but He’s OK with Murder?
The defense attorney in the case, Bill James, did his best to make a sympathetic figure out of The Porn Widower – in part by pointing out how offensive porn is to a God-fearing woman like Patricia Hill.
“[It was] a personal affront to her and to her god,” James said. “She told him over and over again to stop, and he said he would but went right back to doing it… [Her] reality snapped.”
So, let me get this straight: porn is an affront to Patricia’s god, but He’s good with killing your husband? Thou shalt not kill – unless it’s your husband and he’s been watching porn. I guess I missed that part of the Bible. Hey, don’t laugh – it’s possible it’s in there somewhere; my guess would be it’s in Leviticus.