Sex Humor – “Opposites Attract”? Probably Not in This Instance

Sex Humor – “Opposites Attract”? Probably Not in This Instance

There are lots of old adages, bits of wisdom and sayings about the nature of love. “All is fair in love and war,” we’re told. “The heart wants what the heart wants” — and so on and so forth.

One you’ll hear quite often is “opposites attract” – a saying with its roots in science, sure, but that science is not psychiatry, psychology or the study of human sexuality.

Do opposites attract, though? And even if there’s an argument to be made that the old saying is true, it must have its limits; there must be contexts in which it’s not so true, right?

Calico thinks the idea most definitely has its limits — and in one recent letter from a reader to a British media outlet, she believes she’s found the perfect example of why “opposites attract” is a theory that some people should NOT test.

How did Calico reach her conclusion? What is it about this letter writer that makes her think he shouldn’t try seeking out his opposite while searching for lasting love and a satisfying sex life? Find out in her latest post, ““Opposites Attract”? Probably Not in This Instance”

By Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Porn Movies For Women and Couples

Read on…

The first time I heard the saying “opposites attract,” it was in the one context in which that saying is inarguably true – magnetics.

Later, I was bombarded by people using the phrase, just as assuredly as a physicist talking about magnetism, but in reference to relationship dynamics. Immediately, I had my doubts.

By the time I was in my early 20s, it was something Paula Abdul was singing – and in that case, I didn’t care whether it was true or not; I just wanted it off my television screen and away from my stereo speakers, post haste.

OK, Maybe Not They’re Not Truly ‘Opposites’ But…

“It’s ‘la difference’ that makes relationships edgy, dynamic, and exciting,” claim Linda and Charlie Bloom, the co-authors of Secrets of Great Marriages: Real Truths from Real Couples About Lasting Love. “As most of us know, differences can and do show up in a lot of ways. Opposites, or perhaps more accurately, ‘complements’ do attract. Introverts and extroverts, morning people and night people, impulsives and planners… there’s no denying the idea that something in us is drawn to people who counter some of our dominant inclinations with complementary tendencies.”

The Blooms aren’t alone in thinking there’s merit to this “opposites attract” thing, of course, although there’s a lot of nuance and subtle differences in the way people look at it.

“I believe unresolved patterns attract,” says Paul Cutright, the author of You’re Never Upset for the Reason You Think. “What most people call falling in love is really falling in pattern. Relationships are about getting our own needs met, often on an unconscious basis. In other words, we try to find someone who is complementary to us and can help us learn, heal, and grow.”

Presumably, Paula Abdul Wasn’t Singing About This Guy

The notions above sound great and all, but somehow I don’t think folks who endorse the idea of “opposites attract” have this guy in mind when they quote the old adage.

“I am a 29-year-old man,” the anonymous letter writer (let’s call him “Cedric” for the hell of it) begins. “I spend too much time thinking about sex, masturbating or having sex. I masturbate three to five times a day, down from seven to eight when I was younger.”

Hmm. Well OK, Cedric – I suppose if your goal is to masturbate less frequently, you’re making progress there. Please continue.

“Every time I start dating a new woman, I move quickly to a pattern of having sex two to three times a night, almost every night of the week,” Cedric continues. “Although they like it initially, they often ask for a break after the second or third week, with complaints of soreness or not being in the mood.”

Well, yeah – that will happen, Cedric. We’re not sex dolls, after all; our bodies and their composite parts do have their limits.

“After a while, I start feeling rejected and move to end the relationship,” Cedric goes on. “I am a graduate student and sex and masturbation consume a large part of the time I allot for studying. I started masturbating when I was nine or 10; I think this may be part of the problem.”

Sometimes, A Theory Is Better Left Untested

I don’t know whether starting to masturbate at 9 or 10 is all that unusual, but one thing is for sure: If Cedric here puts the “opposites attract” theory to the test, he and his next partner are apt to have a very unhappy, likely very short-lived, sex life.

Sure, there may be poor odds a fellow like Cedric will find a woman who wants to have sex as often as he does, but offhand, I’d say the odds of that happening are still better than the odds of him falling madly in love with a woman who doesn’t want to have sex at all, which is what I’d take Cedric’s “opposite” to be in this scenario.

Who knows, though? Maybe a sexless relationship is just what the doctor ordered for ol’ Cedric here – a little “hair of a totally different size and breed of dog than the one that bit you” if you will.

Maybe.