Questions About Ted Cruz and Porn

Calico Rudasil, Sssh.com Porn For Women

While I’m generally doing all I can to ignore ‘news’ related to the 2016 Presidential election and the approximately 47,000 people who have declared their candidacy for the Republican nomination, I must admit to being fascinated by a piece the Washington Post has published about Ted Cruz and his new book, A Time for Truth.

There’s a handful of excerpted revelations in the WaPo article, but the same one they chose to lead with is the one which caught my eye – for obvious reasons, as the subsection in question is entitled “Cruz watched pornography with Supreme Court justices.”

While I really, really hoped this was going to be some kind of ‘Cruz Confessional’ or erotic tell-all about downing a bunch of cheap brewskies over at Clarence Thomas’ place and firing up some classic Long Dong Silver movies, but sadly it turns out to have been more of a work-related thing.

Uhhh…. It Was For ‘Legal Research,’ Honey, Honestly.

The reason Cruz and the Supremes were watching porn was a case before the court in which a law regulating online porn was being challenged (most likely the Child Online Protection Act or the Communications Decency Act; the WaPo article doesn’t specify).

“We were in front of a large computer screen gazing at explicit, hard-core pornography,” Cruz writes in his book, describing a presentation in which a court librarian demonstrated how easy it was to find porn online.

“A slew of hard-core, explicit images showed up onscreen,” Cruz continues. “As we watched these graphic pictures fill our screens, wide-eyed, no one said a word. Except for Justice O’Connor, who lowered her head, squinted slightly, and muttered, ‘Oh, my.’”

Questions, Questions, Questions

It’s a cute anecdote, I guess, but it’s also very disappointing from an informational standpoint. I’d like to know more about Cruz’s tastes in porn, and as a voter, I feel I have the right to know!

Read on…

For instance:

• Does Cruz cotton to features like Pirates, or do their relatively big budgets offend his fiscally conservative sensibilities?
• When he visits tube sites, does Ted refer to this as “surfing” or is he perhaps “Porn-Cruzing”?
• Does he find gangbangs excessive, or as a committed free market capitalist, does he believe performers should be allowed to accept as many cocks as the current paid-dick market will bear?
• Where does Cruz stand on the question of mandatory condoms in porn? Were he a Catholic, I’d assume he was squarely against forcing like-minded performers to wear condoms in conflict with their religious beliefs, but as a Southern Baptist, it’s probably OK by him if people wear condoms – so long as they aren’t also dancing at the time, naturally.

Even if I buy Cruz’s line that he was only watching porn with the Justices due to the case before the court, even this reasonably tame anecdote raises some issues, all its own:

• Did anyone get aroused during the demonstration?
• If the answer to the above is yes, did Cruz take the opportunity to turn to, let’s say, Justice Scalia and say: “Hey Antonin; is that a gavel under your robe, or are you just happy to see me?”
• Exactly how “hardcore” are we talking about here? Did the unidentified court librarian in question take the Supremes down the double-anal rabbit hole, or did they stick with more ‘vanilla’ material?

Speaking of Porn and Precedents….

If nothing else, obviously these Supreme Court ‘porn research’ sessions clearly left Cruz with a good story to tell, albeit one not quite as good as I’d like it to be.

To his credit, given it’s a story which might shock and dismay at least some of the voters who comprise Cruz’s likely voter base – who might feel Cruz had a moral duty to kick over the screen and berate his bosses for allowing such filth to be screened in their hallowed offices – it did take some degree of courage to include it in his longest campaign advertisement book.

While it doesn’t even come close to shocking me, I do have one concern after reading about Cruz watching porn with the Supremes: Did this set any kind of precedent concerning judicial pornographic education which now has to be followed by lower courts?

The reason I ask: I’d sure hate to think it was ever anyone’s job (yes, even Ted Cruz) to have to watch porn while sitting in a room with this guy.